“Captain America: The First Avenger” Still Exists

Entertainment Editor
06.02.11 3 Comments

Relevant.

It’s been a surprisingly-long time (over

After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) volunteers for a new top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero devoted to defending American ideals. [official synopsis]

Which American ideals?  Oh man, I hope he makes the world safe for double-deep fried foods on a stick.  If I can’t go to the Iowa State Fair to get a snickers jammed inside a twinkie and fried, jammed inside a turducken and fried again, on a stick and dusted with powdered sugar, with some Cinnabon icing as dipping sauce, then the Red Skulls win.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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