“Captain America: The First Avenger” Still Exists

Relevant.

It’s been a surprisingly-long time (over

After being deemed unfit for military service, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) volunteers for a new top secret research project that turns him into Captain America, a superhero devoted to defending American ideals. [official synopsis]

Which American ideals?  Oh man, I hope he makes the world safe for double-deep fried foods on a stick.  If I can’t go to the Iowa State Fair to get a snickers jammed inside a twinkie and fried, jammed inside a turducken and fried again, on a stick and dusted with powdered sugar, with some Cinnabon icing as dipping sauce, then the Red Skulls win.

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