I’m going to use my position as an internationally famous blogger to voice an unpopular opinion: Cake is delicious, and I want to eat it all the time. I know, that was incredibly irresponsible. The Uproxx Overlords will be calling for my head on a platter (they prefer brains to cake), but it had to be said. Years from now, there will be statues erected in my honor worldwide, memorializing the man who spread the knowledge of this wonderful dessert. Out of respect for my readership, I am prepared to reluctantly accept your worship.
Out of the many cakes I have seen and tasted in my life, these planet cakes are easily the second most amazing. The most amazing is the Entenmann’s marshmallow-iced devil’s food cake that currently sits tantalizingly just out of my reach. STOP MOCKING ME, YOU DELICIOUS BASTARD! Back to the point, these heavenly desserts were created by Rhiannon from Cakecrumbs. While I’ve never met Rhiannon, I can easily say that she is the most brilliant person on the face of the
cake Earth. She made this video on how to bake these ridiculously awesome cakes, so that we may all know what true joy is.
Look, I’m a simple man with simple desires. All I truly want out of life is a room containing a confectionary representation of the solar system, and a Galactus costume. A friend would lead me into the room by dangling a Silver Surfer action figure in front of me with a fishing pole. He wouldn’t lead me directly to any of the cakes right away, causing me to bellow “HURRY, MY HERALD! GAJACKTUS HUNGERS!” Eventually, he would lead me to a planet, and I would feast. Yes, I’m available for convention season.