Sony Unveils The Playstation 4 In An Endurance Testing Press Conference

Who has the time to wait around for E3? Not the big three console makers — not this year. Nintendo pretty much laid out it’s 2013 in January, and yesterday evening Sony dropped it’s own bomb, unveiling the PS4. Based on how things are going, an impatient Microsoft will probably show off the next Xbox this weekend.

So, how was the Sony press conference? Well, it was long, and very filled with corporate buzzwords, but some interesting announcements and nifty game footage managed to sneak in here and there.

Hit the jump for a breakdown of the press conference with my instant, off-the-cuff, almost-certainly-to-be-regretted-some-day reactions…

videos via Sony and Gamespot’s Youtube pages

You should still be able to watch a stream of Sony’s press conference right here. Those without two hours to spare, read on…

– The conference is in a large room surrounded by giant wraparound screens. Could this be a hint that Sony’s totally planning to steal Microsoft’s wall-projector holodeck thing?

– The screens are shouting slogans at us! Imagination is our one weapon against reality! What’s Sony got against reality? I know coming in 3rd this console generation was a hard pill to swallow, but don’t take it out on reality. Bunch of clips from old Playstation games and ads.

– A guy with goatee named Andrew House is out. Lots of corporate marketing speak tumbles out of his mouth. They’re going to reconceptualize how you play! My spell check doesn’t like most of the words this guy’s using.

– The system is officially called the Playstation 4.

Instant Reaction – So they didn’t dump the most successful gaming brand in history for a name that sounds like it should be attached to a new brand of sugarless gum? Color me shocked.

Sony’s press conference served up all of this guy I could handle.

– The creator of Marble Madness and the Lead System Architect of the PS4, Mark Cerny saunters out.

Instant Reaction – From Marble Madness to creating Sony’s next console. That’s a hell of a career path. Also, this guy looks and sounds like Kenneth from 30 Rock, just, you know, not funny or likeable.

– Cerny goes on foooorever with the interminable marketing speak. He sort of, kind of gets into system specs. The CPU is, in many ways, like a PC! Get out. The GPU is “enhanced” in some way. It will have a hard drive. The only real stat revealed is that the system has 8 GB of RAM.

Instant Reaction – Why are console makers so f–king afraid to tell people what’s inside their boxes?

– The Playstation 4 controller is unveiled. Looks just like the pic that leaked a few days ago. Everything does what it looks like it does.

– Ooo, time for Sony’s specialty — bulls–t tech demos. We get the Unreal Engine 4 demo we’ve all seen before, and a video of a million cubes falling on a city. Okay.

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– Mark Cerny himself is working on a game — Marble Madness The Next Generation! Just look at those marble textures! Oh, no wait, actually it’s a game called Knack about a robot made up of little floating trinkets. The graphics looks like something from a second tier CG animated movie. I’m assuming this is mostly cutscenes — the bits of gameplay don’t look as good. Looks like a farily standard, albeit cute, brawler.

Instant Reaction – Hey, let’s play a game — it’s called “Does This PS4 game look better than the PS3 game The Last of Us?” Answer — nope. I mean, I guess we’re supposed to be impressed that Knack is made of a thousand little nuggets, but ehn.

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