10 hilarious tweets from Sean Tejaratchi

09.16.13 4 years ago

Sean Tejaratchi is something of a Renaissance Man, with a range of skills that would have gotten him absolutely nowhere during the actual Renaissance. He’s a graphic designer, the creator of a zine called “Crap Hound,” and the author of the wonderfully funny blog LiarTownUSA.

Sean’s also rather terrific on Twitter. He tweets as @ShittingtonUK, which happens to be my personal favorite English province. Here are 10 of his best jokes.

10. Dear Hollywood: I’d pay $150/hour to watch Jason Bourne take on some juggalos.

9. If one of you had a zombie bite, I’d cowboy up and shoot you. Even if it wasn’t a 100% for-sure zombie bite. Even if there were no zombies.

8. Ron Paul sounds 90% sane, but that’s like saying “Here’s a delicious cake made with just ONE spoonful of dogshit.”

7. “What are farts, dad?” “Well, they’re the sad, angry ghosts of murdered plants and animals, escaping our body.”

6. A typo on twitter isn’t truly fixed until every person who saw it is dead. The shame will live in the hearts of others for years to come.

5. “I’m afraid I put the ‘urine’ in tambourine.”-sad, incontinent hippie

4. He was a good dog. He was a beautiful, very good dog. Who was a good dog? Who’s a beautiful, good boy? Was it you? It was.-Dog obituary

3. Q: How many internet teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: FUKK U LOL TROLLED U LOL U MAD YEA U MAD LOLOLOLOL

2. Just finished my “Dexter”-inspired screenplay about a rapist who only rapes rapists! Wish me luck!

1. “Aaand the blonde lady’s comforting herself with her fingers, bein’ her own husband for a spell.”-Old prospector narrates porn for the blind

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