10 Observations About Miley Cyrus’ Sexy amfAR Ensemble

10.30.14 3 years ago

Miley Cyrus wore the following outfit to an amfAR benefit yesterday. Let's break it down.

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1. The best thing about this is her facial expression. “Yep! Messing with you again.” 

2. This is like a “Project Runway” challenge where you have to make a dress out of an old Volvo and someone ends up frantically taping together six seat belts.

3. The look is actually great? Imagine if pop stars didn't dress like this. We'd be so bored and lonely.

4. Hair is perfect. I like Miley as a Precious Moments figurine of Sharon Stone.

5. Where does the mesh begin and end? It's like a naughty Mobius strip covering her arms and sides. 

6. I hope the tattoo on her arm is a set of instructions for how the hell to take that top off. 

7. I want Miley to release a line of deconstructed couture called “Arty in the USA.”

8. It's like she got caught in construction tape while trying to climb on an actual wrecking ball. 

9. This is both something you buy at Frederick's of Hollywood and the bag in which you put something you bought at Frederick's of Hollywood.

10. Reminder: It's been years since Miley rebranded and picked a racier, more jarring public persona. She has not once backed down from that change. Always controversial, always ready to disturb, always enjoying the hell out of a polarizing moment. Good for her. This girl is the real deal. 

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