5 Reasons Donald Duck is Cooler Than Mickey Mouse

06.09.15 2 years ago

Poor Donald Duck, always playing second fiddle to Mickey Mouse who straight up thinks he owns all of Disney. If Mickey is the most popular boy in school, Donald is the quirky outcast who no one ever bothers to understand. And that”s too bad (and so typical), because Donald is significantly more interesting than that overrated, self-obsessed mouse (I honestly didn”t know I had unresolved anger towards Mickey Mouse until I sat down to write this). Today is Donald Duck”s 81st birthday, so to celebrate, we”re going to get to know and appreciate this wacky duck the way he deserves to be known and appreciated. Here are five lovable facts you never knew about Donald Duck, the secretly cooler Disney mascot:

1. His full name is Donald Fauntleroy Duck

Fauntleroy?! Are you kidding me? This is the best middle name I”ve ever heard. Mickey doesn”t even have a middle name.

2. He has a wealthy uncle

Donald”s uncle is Scrooge McDuck. Named after Ebenezer Scrooge, McDuck is known as the richest “person” in the fictional Disney kingdom. Mickey, on the other hand, does not have a wealthy uncle. I know personally that if I had to choose between being friends with two Disney cartoons, I would probably go with whichever one has a rich uncle. Rich uncle = cool vacations.

3. He is an exhibitionist

Where are this guy”s pants? Donald Duck wears a spiffy sailor outfit but loves leaving the pants at home. You will never see Donald Duck with bottoms, except when he gets out of the shower, at which point he suddenly gets modest. Most of the time he is out and about flaunting his hot bod because he is Donald Fauntleroy Duck and has nothing to hide. Literally, there doesn”t seem to be anything there for him to hide. 

4. He has a cute girlfriend who doesn”t seem to wear any pants either

Daisy is a fun and flirty duck. She loves Donald and treats him well, even though she is significantly more sophisticated than he is. Donald can barely put together cohesive sentences, after all. Although she has ruffled feathers to suggest a skirt, she doesn”t wear any actual bottoms. This must be one of the reasons they get along so well. With all this lower nudity you would think Donald and Daisy would have had some children by now.

5. He makes an appearance in one of the most classic Disneyland rides

While Mickey Mouse is literally everywhere in Disneyland, Donald only makes a few select, special appearances. One of these is at the end of It”s A Small World, in the South America tableau, where Donald is joined by his three-piece caballero side band to serenade oncoming boats. Yeah, that”s right, caballero side band. Do you think Mickey is in a band? Well, probably, but he definitely doesn”t have a caballero side band. I mean, you can”t make this stuff up, right? Heh.

So, to sum up, here are the reasons Donald Duck is cooler than Mickey Mouse: Great middle name, wealthy uncle, semi-nudist with semi-nudist girlfriend, performs in a caballero band and appears at the end of It”s A Small World (which happens to be the best part of the ride). Sure, Mickey is sweet and spirited, sure he has a lovely girlfriend of his own, but at the end of the day he”s just sort of basic. Invite Mickey to a party and he”ll be a proper guest, but invite Donald and things are guaranteed to get pretty weird pretty fast. Happy birthday, Donald Duck, I hope you are partying hard.

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