Early this morning, a 4.4 magnitude earthquake rocked Los Angeles, California and approximately two seconds later the joke began on social media. Originating near Westwood, the quake lasted for approximately ten seconds. Which is more than enough time to reach safety and immediately begin tweeting.
Fun fact! Scientists believe 'The Big One' will shake continuously for over two minutes.
#1 – Reminder, the police cannot apprehend an earthquake.
Please do not call 911 to report the #earthquake. We are well aware of it. Lines need to be kept open for emergencies pic.twitter.com/joEwpfgPnC
– LAPD Communications (@911LAPD) March 17, 2014
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#2 – Unless you think the earthquake is holding your dad for ransom obviously.
Actual txt from my dad: “did U here about. The Earth quake at LA Aniz felt it Harris is at VietNam” Is this a ransom note??
– Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) March 17, 2014
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#3 – Of course this happened on the best day of the year for an earthquake.
Can't wait till later, when everyone's wobbly drunk and constantly screaming “earthquake!” for no reason. #stpattys #earthquake
– Adam Rose (@RealAdamRose) March 17, 2014
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#4 – It even has a name prebuilt in!
Did not enjoy the Shamrock Shake of 2014. #shamrockshake
– Sterling Gates (@sterlinggates) March 17, 2014
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#5 – Not everyone handles the stress well.
That earthquake didn”t last long but I somehow managed to murder two people & eat a sheet cake. I”m not good in a crisis, is what I realize.
– Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) March 17, 2014
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#6 – And there's always a spooky coincidence somewhere, right?
Should I be spooked that the only thing that fell during the quake were my @StephenKing books?
– Brian Posehn (@thebrianposehn) March 17, 2014
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#7 – But for most, this was the biggest concern. Stupid quake.
Earthquake update: LA is wide awake and deciding whether it can go back to sleep
– Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) March 17, 2014
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#8- With this being the true fallout from an earthquake of this magnitude.
BREAKING: Reports of Coffee Bean lines reaching “crisis levels” as every actor in Los Angeles woke up before their 11am alarm. #earthquake
– E.J. Coughlin (@ejc) March 17, 2014
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#9 – But the spirits of Los Angelenos was not broken.
CA #earthquake. We will rebuild. pic.twitter.com/LDxoxWXKwk
– Will Thompson (@_willthompson) March 17, 2014
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#10 – Unless they just finished a wicked construction project.
People who had just finished building a sweet pillow fort are piiiiiiissed. #earthquake
– Brock Baker (@BrockBaker) March 17, 2014
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#11 – Mom stop calling. Seriously.
Making sure your LA friends are ok after an earthquake under 5.0 is like them texting you every time they hear there's been a thunderstorm.
– (maura) (@behindyourback) March 17, 2014
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#12 – Unless you want this to happen.
“Hi. We're all dead.” – How you should answer the phone when your panicked mother calls you today. #Earthquake
– Geoff LaTulippe (@DrGMLaTulippe) March 17, 2014
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#13 – Sometimes an earthquake makes people more honest about their lives.
My bed hasn't seen THAT much action since . . . the last earthquake. #INeedSomeJokes
– Retta (@unfoRETTAble) March 17, 2014
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#14 – And sometimes is just makes you evacuate your bowels.
So if you're driving during an earthquake what do you do? Besides instantly die from fear.
– Jack Moore (@JackPMoore) March 17, 2014
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#15 – The most important question? Do you think they're taking new clients?
All this social media buzz, wow. Earthquake's got a great manager.
– Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) March 17, 2014
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#16 – A few saw more nefarious intentions behind the quake.
Awfully hypocritical of the tectonic plates to stage an earthquake in the USA while ignoring Russia entirely. Telling.
– Matt Yglesias (@mattyglesias) March 17, 2014
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# 17 – But somewhere out there, someone just had the best timing ever.
Congrats to anyone who had a first kiss accidentally timed just right. #earthquake
– Brian Lynch (@BrianLynch) March 17, 2014
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Bonus! News anchor at the moment the earthquake hits is the best reaction, hands down.//platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js