Well, here we are back at the “Big Brother” house, and the game has reset. This couldn’t have been a major surprise to anyone, as America was presented with the choice of mixing things up by adding a twist to the game, or watching the show limp along with nary a bump in the road. Plus, given that only one of the four coaches had to hit the reset button to activate the change (and there was no time for any discussion), there was no way that wasn’t going to happen. But hey, twists are always a good thing, unless you’re one of the hamsters who didn’t dodge eviction last week.
When he learns about the coach twist, Ian feels sick. He went from a 1 in 7 shot at a half million to a 1 in 12! Actually, I think his odds are much, much worse than that. Of course, I’m surprised he’s still in the game at all, given that he was such a solid target in week one. I guess all that kicking himself in the head stuff is still amusing to someone.
In the interview room, three of the coaches defend their decision to hit the reset button. Britney knew her odds blew with only Shane on her team, so she has a better shot by playing. Dan loves to play! Preferably for money! Janelle just wants to win. You don’t come back to the “Big Brother” house three times in a row unless you really, really want that, after all! Boogie, who did not hit the reset button, is just ticked. He thinks he had a really good shot at taking home the $100,000. Of course, Boogie thought Frank was going to cruise to certain victory. I wonder if he would have eschewed the reset button so easily.
Dan stupidly tells Boogie that Frank was on his way home. He wants to play with Boogie. I would suggest that Dan pause for a moment before deliriously trying to form alliance two minutes after getting back into the game. As you might expect, this does come back to haunt him fairly quickly.
Janelle lies about pressing the reset button. She just wanted to coach, she tells anyone who will listen. I doubt anyone believes her, but saying this over and over again seems to make Janelle happy, so no one argues with her.
Back to the HOH challenge. Ashley says that getting doused with cold water is the worst. But wait, Ashley! There’s more! The hamsters get splattered with seagull poop equivalent. I’m not sure what “Big Brother” uses for seagull poop, but it seems to be stain clothing, at least until the next dousing of cold water comes along. Ashley should be relieved — it’s like a rinse cycle. They may suffer, but their clothes will be very clean.
Boogie, believing that physical weakness will assure the hamsters he isn’t a threat, hops at 1 hour and 10 minutes. I think this only confirms to the hamsters that Boogie is a crotchety old man, which may not be to his advantage, really. Jenn is next to jump at 1 hour and 12 minutes. Joe follows suit at 1 hour and 13 minutes.
Frank informs Shane that he plans to put up two coaches if he gets HOH, but that doesn’t seem to make Shane feel any more eager to jump off the wall. Ashley drops at 1 hour and 51 minutes, Dan at 1 hour and 55 minutes. Like Boogie, he wants to come across as weak. I love how these guys want to assure us they’re choosing to jump, not that their middle-aged musculature is failing them. Wil notices Dan is doing exactly what he did in season 10 — playing weak. Yeah, Dan, you may want to try a little harder, as it turns out your teammates have actually watched the show.
Frank falls off the wall at 2 hours and 13 minutes. Boogie wants to tell him there are some people he shouldn’t trust, and pulls him aside to do just that. Frank is shocked! There’s only one person he can trust, and that’s Boogie. Boogie? Seriously? I have to hand it to Frank. Each week he’s targeted and betrayed, and each week he just puts on a smiley face and tries harder. He’s like the little curly-haired train that could.
Wil notices that Danielle isn’t showing any signs of giving up, so he asks her to keep him safe before he takes the leap. Wil and Shane jump together at 2 hours and 43 minutes. It’s down to Britney and Danielle and Janelle. Janelle feels good about Britney, so she jumps at 2 hours and 49 minutes. Oh, and Ian’s still there. It seems everyone except Boogie has forgotten about Ian. Which is exactly how he’s stayed in the house so long.
Ian wants to strike a deal with Danielle. Dan interrupts — she doesn’t take deals now, she makes them! He wants her to win! He’s not her coach anymore, but he’s going to coach her! Danielle nods. She knows Dan is on her side. Oh, Danielle. He’s NOT your coach anymore. He’s playing AGAINST you.
Ian feels physically ill. He almost falls, then rallies. He wants to know he’s safe, and Britney and Danielle both assure him he is. He jumps at 3 hours and 15 minutes, which is really pretty impressive. Finally, cold and wet and covered with pseudo bird poop, Britney lets Danielle win it. Dan jumps Danielle in a way that may not make his wife overly happy if she’s watching at home. Danielle doesn’t care! She’s so happy that she is the first girl of the season to win! Shane gives her a big, “From Here to Eternity” kiss in the water, which would probably be sexier if I didn’t think she just lacked the upper body strength at this point to stand up. Finally, she does get up, which may be the only thing keeping her from drowning in two inches of water.
Boogie hates that Danielle is HOH. Boogie isn’t sucking up to this girl whose name he just learned three days ago. I’m getting the feeling that Boogie would like to go home. Since when did he just not want to play the game anymore?
Frank and Boogie tell Britney they know about the plan to eliminate She flails her arms and, big-eyed and panicked, denies all. Britney tells Shane to deny all, keep his head down and shut up.
Dan admits to Britney and Danielle he screwed up. Danielle can’t be mad at Dan, of course. He’s her coach! I think Danielle needs to write on her hand that she NO LONGER HAS A COACH, so she can refer to this frequently.
Time to see Danielle’s HOH room! Boogie is super annoyed to see it. He doesn’t care if she doles out candy bars. Shane loves seeing her so happy. And he loves having pictures to go with her stories. Time for her to read a letter from her mom. She cried for almost a week, but she’s one with that now. She didn’t know she went into the house. Well, that’s awkward. But, her mom said she was proud. Jenn was glad her mother wrote something encouraging.
Dan, Danielle, Shane and Britney camp out in the HOH room to review who their biggest threats are, which is Dan and Britney’s way of telling Danielle who to put on the block without telling her who to put on the block. Danielle thinks Janelle and Frank are the biggest threats, as she thinks Janelle hates her a little bit. Dan suggests Frank. Britney thinks Wil, Danielle, Frank and Janelle are threats. Shane thinks Frank and Boogie. Danielle is targeting Frank. Dan is relieved, because once a coach gets picked off, that just makes the target on his back bigger. I think Dan needs to write on his hand that he doesn’t really have an alliance with Boogie or Janelle at this point, but I don’t think anyone has a pen, anyway.
Later in the pantry, Wil gently reminds Danielle she offered him safety before he jumped. Ugh! Danielle was going to put him on the block with Frank! Danielle forgot about that promise thing! She was cold and wet, it’s way too hard to think when you’re cold and wet.
It’s almost time for Danielle to make nominations, so Dan begs Danielle not to nominate a coach. Danielle does not seem convinced that this is the best move for her. But she trusts Dan! Please, someone get these people a pen.
In other news, Boogie will be thoroughly offended if he’s not nominated. Seriously, this guy wants to go home.
Danielle heads up the nomination ceremony and makes the usual speech.
Britney is safe
Ian is safe.
Dan is safe.
Janelle is safe.
Jenn is safe.
Shane is safe.
Ashley is safe.
Joe is safe.
Boogie is safe.
Wil and Frank are on the block. So, Danielle is a lying liar who lies.
Boogie is thoroughly insulted to get a key! He’s a THREAT, dammit! Frank is now used to dodging bullets, so he doesn’t seem overly upset about being betrayed and targeted again. Frank is clearly a target, because he’s just too darn nice for anyone to really hate. It’s like all the other hamsters want to hold him down and pluck his angel wings and pull his hair, just because.
As the credits roll, we see Danielle sobbing to Wil, probably apologizing. He hugs her, even though she’s a lying liar who lies. I wish she’d put up one of the coaches with Frank, but clearly, she’s playing Dan’s game. Too bad she probably shouldn’t.
What did you think of Danielle’s nominations? Who do you think will win the POV? Do you think the coaches were smart to get into the game?