Ugh, you guys, I lived in Williamsburg before there was an Urban Outfitters. (But then I moved to Los Angeles where there’s one on every corner.) A new Brooklyn outpost of the hipster-garb emporium is opening soon, and while it will still offer Coachella-wear for every season, it will also include a full-on restaurant with upscale food and drink options. Weird!
Apparently, some UO locations already sell sandwiches, in addition to t-shirts with pictures of sandwiches and clever captions like, “The coolest club in town” or I don’t know, what counts as irony these days? But the Williamsburg store will go much further with a menu offering items like a $36 striped bass dish, a $39 ribeye steak and a $19 vegetable plate for the vegan leather enthusiasts in your group. (I wish I were making up the term “vegan leather,” but no, it’s actually what clothing stores are saying these days instead of “pleather.”) The joint is also hoping to secure a liquor license, because who can stomach a whole vegetable plate without a glass of red to wash it down?
Basically? This is a way of getting customers plastered so they either spend tons of money or ralph all over the display of Navajo-print bootie shorts — which just makes them super authentic.