Oh, NeNe. Some people have real problems, like Kandi wrestling with her crazy mother and Porsha not being able to buy both of the ridiculously expensive pairs of shoes she wants! You, however, need to get into a huff when your cast mates can’t make it to the bus on time. Sure, Phaedra was three hours late, but what’s a few hours between friends? Not that you’re friends. And Kandi stopped at Chik-Fil-A when you had a perfectly lovely fruit plate waiting. So, never mind. Get into a huff. You’re allowed, NeNe.
Really, most of this episode revolved around the girls grappling with first world problems. NeNe doesn’t know what to pack! Porsha can’t decide whether to buy the $7,000 pair of shoes or get the “cheap” $3,500 pair! Kenya doesn’t know if she should take her gun and/or flip-flops! Okay, that last one may not be a first world problem. That might just be crazy as all get out. Kenya might be joking about taking her gun on the trip, but I’m a little unnerved that 1) we actually see the gun 2) we now know she keeps it in her closet and 3) she implies that she has it in case a guy gets ornery. Or something. It was a story about a donkey and a frog and it was mostly lost on me. But still, we now know she’s armed and dangerous.
The one big problem that had nothing to do with first world problems or flies pooping on the fresh fruit was Kandi’s continuing drama with Mama (or Momma) Joyce. It was hard to watch Kandi try to reason with her mom, as i was kind of like watching her try to talk sense to a rabid raccoon or a serial killer. When Kandi points out she just wants her mom to stop threatening to beat her friend Camron senseless, Momma Joyce says, “We was really joking.” Huh. I had no idea that joking around played out as attempting to beat the hell out of someone in a bridal salon. Who knew?
Mama Joyce puts up some weak defenses and some outright lies (“Camron was talking about whupping my ass!”) then, defeated, tells Kandi she’s through with her. When Kandi doesn’t react to this (I’m guessing Momma Joyce was hoping she’d fall to the floor in hysterics), she says she’s going to do her best to “stay completely out of it” and then adds in an ominous tone, “Whatever happens, happens.”
I seriously doubt Mama Joyce will stick to that, as the show is now relying on her to bring a heaping helping of crazy drama to the show. I mean, she even spatters some of it on poor Phaedra while trying to get free legal advice about pre-nups and, I’m guessing, shake her down for information on Kandi’s legal affairs. Phaedra does her best to be very, very noncommittal, saying only “wow” and “huh” as Mama Joyce rails at her for not introducing Kandi to rich lawyers (news flash — Phaedra isn’t married to a rich lawyer, either), telling her she wants to choke her when she has the temerity to suggest Kandi has found the right guy, then reprimanding her for setting up “two short people with big heads.” I’m a little amazed Phaedra doesn’t just tell Mama Joyce to get the hell out of her office, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to tell her assistant she is permanently unavailable if Crazypants calls again.
Luckily, we don’t just have to rely on Mama Joyce for the nutty stuff, stuff. This week, after giving a lot of lip service to staying above the fray, Kenya busts out the crazy just in time for the trip to Savannah. Heck, NeNe might have been able to contain herself if not for Kenya, who arrived on time (or, well, close to it) wasn’t jumping around, bitching about how all the other girls weren’t properly respectful of NeNe.
Kenya’s decides to interrupt NeNe as she’s about to lecture the ladies about tardiness. She wants to let them know that, as the second person to arrive, she deserves the second-best room at their accommodations in Savannah, and that she will not be tolerating any naughty lateness from them! This is not one of Kenya’s brighter moments. You can mess with Housewives, but do not tell them they will not be getting the finest accommodations simply because they can’t get it together to pack a suitcase before early afternoon! That’s just crazy, Kenya!
Kandi, whose last nerve has been worked by her mother, is not about to let the likes of Kenya boss her around. She stands up and starts screaming, then Phaedra starts yapping about she’s the mother of a NEWBORN, Porsha is trying to stand in between Kenya and Kandi in case punches get thrown and suddenly NeNe is looking out the window, fixing her hair and trying to imagine her happy place. I can already tell Savannah is going to be so much fun!
Do you think Mama Joyce has something dastardly planned? Do you think Kenya is being ridiculous? Do you think all of the latecomers needed to apologize more than they did?