‘Real Housewives of New York’ recap: Carole is not okay with Aviva

While I think there's an entire book to be written about the weirdly cozy relationship between Aviva's ex-husband Harry, Aviva, Sonja and Aviva's current husband Reid, sadly that wasn't the focus of this week's episode of “The Real Housewives of New York.” No, that was devoted to a topic familiar to anyone who watches reality television — does a book deal make you a “real” writer, and if so, do you actually have to write anything? Or can you, like, call up a guy and tell him some stories and make him, like, do it so you can go to parties and stuff? 

I feel terrible for Carole Radziwell, because unlike every other star in the “Real Housewives” franchise, she really is a writer. More importantly, she was a writer BEFORE she ended up on a reality TV show. Aviva got a book deal simply because she's on a reality show, and possibly because she's missing a leg. Can't wait to read that!

The conversation that spurs the enormous battle between Carole and Aviva at the housewarming party is awkward and weird, but it also seems to involve two people who aren't really listening to what the other is really saying. The minute Aviva starts saying things like “writing is fun!” and “writing is like jamming out a long e-mail!” Carole probably wants to skin her like a goat, and I don't blame her. Aviva has no idea that her attempts to bond with Carole on her level are a smack in the face. After all, everyone who makes it past elementary school can slap words on a paper, so it's not like a specialized skill or anything, right? 

As for Aviva, she thinks her voluminous experience in Tweeting and e-mails are remarkably equalizing. After all, a publishing house has given her money. She may want to give Teresa Giudice a call, as I think a chat with this fellow author might give her some perspective on what publishing houses consider printable. 

Oh, and Aviva? It doesn't take a village to write a book. That's a Mad Lib. 

Still, Aviva must have some idea that accusing Carole of using a ghostwriter is going to sting — just as she bristles when Carole brings it up to her. How dare she accuse her of working with someone on her book! After all, it's just like a really long e-mail! 

Poor Kristen. While she seems initially horrified to be getting smothered in gossip (lalalalala!), she ultimately dives right in and picks Team Carole. While she doesn't understand that ghostwriters don't get credit on the cover (that's why they're ghosts, bunny), she isn't quick to buy into Aviva's nasty rumor mongering. Kristen may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I think her instincts are proving to be pretty darn good. 

The other sign she has good instincts? When Sonja invites her over for a spray tan, she's entirely skeeved out when her host leers at her during the process. Sonja may have just been expressing her admiration, but come on. That was creepy. 

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