Okay, Josh M. can’t win this. He can’t. Please, someone tell me he can’t win this thing! But if he does, maybe he and last year’s winner, Gwetchen, can make a nightmare neon hustler/Aztec boho knockoff collection together. Which no one will buy. Seriously, though, the man has terrible taste. But the really unfortunate thing is I don’t think Anya, who had been so strong all season, can pull it out and win this thing following her epic meltdown. Still, I can’t look away. Just please, don’t let Josh M. win!
The designers flit around, stressing out, while Josh M. whines that he has three people he has to knock out of the competition before he can take his rightful place as the winner. Then, Tim comes in with good news. Each designer gets $500 to go shopping at Mood. This seems, pretty obviously, to be a Hail Mary pass to Anya, who messed up the most and has the most new outfits to make. Still, all of the designers are happy as clams. Who doesn’t like shopping?
Josh M. finds some hideous neon green fabric to buy in bulk. I know neon is back, but neon GREEN? And this much of it? He can’t be serious. But oh, he is. He really is.
Even with that hideous crap in his bag, Josh M. says failing at this point doesn’t seem an option to him. Back in the workroom, he cries to, of all people, Anya. He has nothing to go back to! He doesn’t have a job! Anya pets him and tells him he has a great collection. She tries to talk about why she’s worried, and Josh M. looks insanely bored. He thinks he should take a nap! Somewhere, Beck is bitterly laughing. Yes!
Tim checks in with the designers. He wants to know how Kimberly will fix her heinous bubble skirt. Kimberly doesn’t know. Ditch it, Kimberly! It’s not an asset! Tim tells her to work like there’s no tomorrow. This is code for girl, you’ve got a big mess to clean up, get sewing.
Anya tells Tim her collection is not her best work, but she’s had a great experience. This is basically her way of saying it’s okay that she’s going to lose, essentially. What? Tim tells her to spice it up. Where’s the pep talk? Tim, give the girl a good, hard shake. She can’t give up this close to the finish line, even if it’s improbable that she’ll be able to pull off ten solid looks at this point.
Viktor tells Tim he’s dropping some of his prints. This is not a good idea, as his prints were the strongest thing he had in his collection — and more importantly, the judges seemed to think so, too. Tim also makes a frowny face. But Viktor wants to add some sheer stuff. Hmmm…
Josh M. shows Tim his hideous shorts. Tim thinks he had a different vibe in what he showed the judges. Those looks were for a woman who could eat lunch at the Four Seasons. What he has on his hanging rack is for a woman who’s hanging out downtown. Personally, I think it looks like it’s for a woman who’s hooking downtown. No, make that a guy who’s doing gay fetish porn on a rooftop downtown. I mean, what sane woman would wear this stuff? Josh M. is so confused! But he’s going to follow his gut. That’s a surprise, since he usually just rips off other people’s ideas.
Josh M. says he’s making things you have to really look at and discover the amazing things within them. So, dressing a model like a color blind bicycle enthusiast, that’s the amazing thing? Just wondering.
The designers hustle and sew. Anya is feeling better. Good. But she’s still cutting hems with one hour left to make her clothes. She doesn’t know if she’s going to make it. C’mon, Anya!
The designers head to Lincoln Center and moon over the runway. This is the same scene we see every season, so you can fill in the blanks. They’re so happy/excited/nervous/tired/tearful, blah blah blah.
Next thing you know, the models are getting dressed and the clock is ticking. Kimberly is freaking out. She needs a zipper, she needs needle and thread, she can’t find her kit! She’s choked up and tearful. I think everyone’s nerves are shot at this point.
Runway time! Michael Kors, Nina Garcia and L’wren Scott will be judging. No silly actresses today!
Kimberly is up first. She love her family. They wave from the audience, tickled pink.
The second look is too spangly. The third, too dull. There’s a real hoochie sensibility here. The shoeties aren’t working for me, though they’re a vast improvement over the cobalt blue pumps. Tim thinks it’s stunning. Ack, the horrible skirt is back! The color palette is just not working for me at all, and I usually love jewel tones. The one look I did really love was ivory-on-ivory, and I wish she’d done a little more of that.
Josh M. wishes his mom was there. He gets choked up. And yet, I am so unmoved.
The first look is a simple dress a la, hmmm… Anya and Bert! How original! What’s with the little red flap on that one skit? Why is that striped purple-and-grey shirt with that red jacket? Aack! That horrible patchwork fabric is back! Tim says it’s not trying too hard. Seriously? Those neon green bicycle shorts are making my eyes bleed. Oh, look, a nice black dress. But then he copies the pattern onto a skirt and slaps light grey onto the model’s haunches. This man does not love women. The gown is improved, though I still don’t love the back. But how many black gowns and dresses are there? Overall, too much, too loud, and what woman would wear this stuff?
Viktor looks like a little boy version of PeeWee Herman, who was already doing the little boy thing. Yow. You’re not Mondo, Viktor.
Oh, nice first look. This looks expensive. The sheer thing feels very dated to me, but okay. Like, 1990s dated. Lots and lots and LOTS of black. I’m really sad he yanked so many of his prints. Those pants still work, and so does the mirrored top. But I’m surprised and a little disappointed. Judging from last week, this runway was Viktor’s to lose. And I think he lost it.
Anya takes the stage, and she’s the only designer who gives a thorough explanation of what her inspiration is.
That first gown is a show stopper. Her black and white print cover-up is amazing, and I love the bathing suit, too. Tim tells her she should feel proud, but he’s not as excited as I woud hope. Love that last gown. The collection is cohesive, but I worry it’s all too samey-samey. I’m not sure if the judges can give this win to her, simply because there’s no range here. But still, she did pull it out in two days, which is impressive.
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s favorite was Anya. Jay McCarroll liked Josh M.’s clothes. So did Betsey Johnson. A lot of famous people liked lots of things, but really, we know only four opinions really count.
The judges start with Kimberly. Michael says she listened to everything the judges said but still held on to her essence o’ Kimberly. The only thing that bothered him was the under-dress under her flowing print dress. L’Wren loved the lame miniskirt. They all loved the pink dress. Heidi wanted to see more of the ivory look. Me, too. They felt the bubble skirt outfit was bubblelicious, but I’m not sure this is a compliment. Nina liked that she has the ability to take a blue metallic and make it very easy and modern. She wanted to see more of that, but she loved the finale dress.
Josh M. babbles about draping. Heidi liked his collection a lot. Aack! She liked his psychedelic print and the green shorts. Michael thought he was slapping his own hand and it served him well. L’Wren was very impressed and thinks he has a complete vision. She thought it all looked great. Nina thought he was most improved and thought it was very editorial. She thought the green shorts photographed well. Michael thought he made neoprene and plastic look believable. Really? I’m stunned.
Michael loved Viktor’s printed pieces. He thought there was a sense of polish. But there was too much transparency. Still, the tailored stuff was stellar. L’Wren thought he executed beautifully. But she didn’t like the sheer dress. I detect a theme here. Heidi liked a lot of Viktor’s pieces, but she felt there were two shows and she thought the see-through looks were a little cheap. NIna liked the printed pieces, but the black chiffon looks were a missed opportunity.
Anya talks about Tobago. Heidi really liked the vibe of the collection and thought she picked amazing fabrics. But she thinks Anya didn’t have to do as much. Eight out of ten dresses had the same necklines. Michael thought she had the best opening. He notes she made a look that was sexy without being slutty. He thought she could push it even more. L’Wren thought her use of print was spectacular, but she didn’t know where she could wear some of the outfits. Nina liked the collection very much and loved the bathing suit. But she wished some of the looks could work in a more urban atmosphere. Heidi tells her she really turned it around. The judges have good points. I really, really wished she’d gone home and done something that showed that she can tailor an outfit, but no. Everything was very similar, but perhaps too similar.
Oh my God. It think the judges are going to give it to Josh M.
Michael thinks Kimberly had great clothes, but he’s not sure it was a great collection. L’Wren thought there were some clunking mistakes but thought she had a great point of view. Nina thinks she’s a good designer but thinks she needs more time. So, Kimberly’s not winning.
Michael didn’t think Viktor had a perfectly connected fashion show. For Heidi, it was mismatched. Nina wants some of the outfits. Michael loved the mirrored tank, black jacket and printed pants. But NIna thinks he blew it with the sheer black outfits. Heidi thinks he could start his own brand. Michael thinks women would buy his stuff. But I don’t think Viktor is winning, either.
Michael points out that Anya did a full about face in two days. Everyone loves that she has good taste. Michael feels it was a V-neck fest. Nina thinks she’s so gifted and has an eye for patterns. Heidi wishes she’d layered in some different looks. Michael thinks it may have been one note, but no hills and valleys. L’Wren thinks she is her brand. Nina trusts that she’s smart enough to create her own brand.
Heidi thinks Josh M. did a fantastic job. Michael thought it was a focused show with gorgeous tailoring, interesting prints and good styling. Nina thought it was the best styling. Heidi thinks it was a gutsy show. L’Wren does not look convinced. They note the sad shirt with the red jacket. Nina says he has lots of ideas — possibly too many. Don’t let him win!
Michael can picture an Anya bag, shoe or piece of jewelry. Which means she could have a serious business. But was there more tailoring and thought to Josh M.’s collection? Even I have to concede that point. But NEON GREEN SHORTS, people!
Time for the elimination. Heidi declares no one’s a loser. Well, I’d say Josh M. is a loser in a broader sense, but whatever.
Kimberly is… out. She’s honored and humbled. She goes backstage to see her family. That’s always a nice touch. She’s glad she got to make her statement to the industry.
Viktor is… also out. So, it’s down to Anya and Josh M., like a battle of good and evil. Viktor is disappointed, but he’s glad he got the whole ice cream.
Anya is… the winner! YES! YES, YES, YES! Josh M. applauds and gives her a hug while quietly wishing her dead.
Josh M. is shocked. He felt he was better (of course). He thought her collection was beautiful, but not sewn well. Yes, Josh M. has to be bitchy right to the end. Can’t wait to see “After the Runway”!
Anya thanks Heidi for supporting her. They hug. Michael and NIna congratulate her. L’Wren thinks she’s an amazing female voice. Her family comes out to dispense hugs. Tim gives her a hug. And everything ends happily ever after. But…
I hate to say it, but Anya’s collection wasn’t strong. Was her work for the entire season strong? Definitely. But did there also seem to be an abundance of Hail Mary passes tossed her way? Yes. Your mini-collection sucked — but it’s a non-elimination round! You need more looks — here’s shopping money for Mood! I’m glad Anya won, I love her clothes, and I think she’s deserving, but I wish the judges could have just explained themselves a little more — they gave this to Anya for the season and gave her a pass on her runway work. Just be honest. Or maybe they hated Josh M. as much as everyone else. Hey, you never know.
Do you think Anya deserved to win? Do you think Josh M.’s collection was wearable? Were you surprised Viktor pulled his prints?