The Sexiest Vampire Ever Turns 28

05.13.15 2 years ago

Today, the sexiest vampire of the 21st century turns twenty-nine. Robert Pattinson”s days as Edward Cullen may be over, but he'll always be a blood-sucker to me. So, let”s celebrate his birthday by proving that he is, in fact, the hottest (male) vampire to grace our televisions and the silver screen.

Exhibit A: Count Dracula

Created by Bram Stocker in 1987, Dracula is no doubt one foreboding vampire. However, many men have played this character over the decades and only about half of them have been hot.

Exhibit B:  Barnabas Collins

First featured on 1966 daytime show “Dark Shadows,” Barnabas is a 175-year-old vampire in search of fresh blood. At the time, he was played by British actor Ben Cross, and has since been played by Johnny Depp.  Sure, Ben Cross and Johnny Depp can be hot from time to time, but not so much with sunken eye-sockets and bulging neck veins.

Exhibit C: Bill Compton

True Blood”s leading vampire. Sure he”s hot if you like that rugged, manly, fang-toothed look. But I bet he can”t pull off a pair of Ray Bans like Pattinson can.

Exhibit E: This photograph

Vampires of the world, back off, the Hotness Judge has spoken and there”s nothing you can do to change her mind. Happy birthday, Robert Pattinson, may your days on earth be infinite. 

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