Everyone loves the puffin-like porgs, except for the Star Wars: The Last Jedi cast. Gwendoline Christie declared, “I hate porgs.” John Boyega considers the fluffy creatures “really freaky,” and even blamed their “real big eyes, all bunched together” for his opinion. Yet the most astute porg comments belong to Oscar Isaac, who has frequently quipped about what they might taste like. “Porgs with roasted turnips. Glazed porg,” he mused aloud in an interview. “Sorry, I was still talking about porg recipes.” In a later conversation, he surmised, “The thing with the porg is, you’d have lunch.”
As awful as this may seem, Isaac has a point. Even Star Wars‘ own digital marketing has toyed with the idea. And besides, with Mark Hamill’s Luke Skywalker living in isolation on Ahch-To for so long, he must have tried the critters at least once during his time there. If so, then how did The Last Jedi‘s possibly eponymous character prepare them? What did he use for seasoning? Was a lightsaber involved? These (and others) are all important questions, so we’ve put together a short recipe list — consisting of hors-d’oeuvre, entrées, and entremets based on traditional puffin and poultry dishes — for your perusal.
Porg In Green Milk Sauce
Yes, you read that right. Despite being protected by several national and international conservation organizations, puffins are considered a rare delicacy in Nordic countries. And seeing as how The Last Jedi‘s porgs are based on the puffins writer/director Rian Johnson saw while filming at Skellig, it makes sense their preparation would be similar. Like “Porg in Green Milk Sauce” (as opposed to blue milk), a slight variation on an Icelandic dish in which the arctic birds are cooked with a buttery sauce rich in creamy dairy and some sweet additions. Typically prepared as a main course, this iteration can be served as an appetizer.
- 2 to 4 porg breasts
- salt as needed
- bacon lard as needed
- butter as needed
- 1 cup of water
- 1 cup of green milk
- Wash the breasts thoroughly with cold water, then rub with salt.
- Lard the breasts thoroughly.
- Brown the breasts on all sides in a cast iron cooking pan, then stuff into a pot.
- Cover with water and green milk, bring to a boil, then cook on low for 1 to 2 hours.
- Once done, remove from cooking liquid and slice into strips.
- 2 tablespoons of butter
- 1 to 2 cups of flour
- cooking liquid
- salt and pepper as needed
- heavy green cream as needed
- In another pot, melt the butter and stir in the flour until well mixed.
- Strain the cooking liquid, then gradually add the mix to it.
- Add salt and pepper to taste, then heavy green cream until desired consistency is achieved.
- Pour finished sauce over cooked porg breasts strips and serve.
CAUTION: The next recipe contains minor The Last Jedi spoilers. If you haven’t seen the film yet, then stop here.