Taylor Swift, a woman of many moods and exactly one lipstick, just threw down the third video from her blockbuster album “1989.” “Style” is a slow throb, a pleasant recollection of quaint memories with a cute boy who resembles James Dean. This is a big deal because Taylor Swift loves James Dean and knows all of his posters. The video is a B- effort full of familiar Swift sentimentalism. Let's take a walk through a gallery of “Style” and see what kinds of artistic insights we come up with.Subscribe to UPROXX
Just as I suspected, Taylor Swift's innermost feelings — when revealed — look like Britney Spears' “Sometimes” video. All this girl wants to do is run around with a pink ball and wear white midriff sweaters on the pier. Duh.
MOODZ. It's kind of weird that we have a superstar who takes most of her visual cues from that Sixpence None the Richer song.
WHAT IN THE NAME OF DON HENLEY'S “THE BOYS OF SUMMER” IS THIS. Actually, it reminds me more of Kate Pierson from the B-52s guest-starring on “The Adventures of Pete & Pete.” (See below.) “You never understood me, Leonard… you never really understood me.”
Damn, that show was bizarre and GOOD.
Yes, this is an image from an actual Taylor Swift video and not the new CBS crime procedural “UNFORGIVABLE,” starring Taylor Swift as a rookie detective with multiple personalities and Maria Bello as the hardened chief who regrets her past and sees the future.
Taylor Swift's version of glamor is smoking cumulus clouds. Of course.
THIS? This is who we're pining for? A TopShop customer. Taylor, I'd rather you hit up that Kennedy kid again, he at least knew what polo was.
Finally, the clearest shot of Tay's man that we get all video. We're supposed to believe he has “that James Dean look in his eye”? OK, honestly, no. James Dean routinely had a stern or crazed look in his eye. Have you seen “Rebel Without a Cause” recently? I dare you to sit through it. He is constantly sobbing and looking sleepy-eyed in a “Goodnight Moon” way. This guy just looks like he sells Selsun Blue.
If Taylor doesn't hit us with an eye-popping video about addiction for “Clean,” the visual output from “1989” will have officially been a waste. Every video so far has been as beige and serviceable as a Banana Republic gift card. Sorry, Taylor, I know this is going to break your heart, but WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE HENLEYS.