While it can be argued that reality television is a vast, useless cesspool with little, if any, educational value, I have to think that at least some of my time spent in front of the tube has been justifiable. It’s certainly not doing anything for my fitness level, after all, unless you count rolling on the floor laughing or extended groaning as cardio. I’m happy to report that there are some helpful tips to be found in this morass of lowbrow entertainment, although some of them have to do with proper uses for a spork.
You don’t need talent, skill, personality or intelligence to be famous as long as you have a sex tape. (Kim, “Kim and Kourtney Take New York”)
If your boyfriend breaks up with you because you dress too provocatively, he’s probably a jerk anyway. (Snooki, “Jersey Shore”)
If you stick something in a storage locker, no matter how valuable it is, you’ll eventually forget about it and someone else will get it for cheap. (“Storage Wars”)