‘The Vampire Diaries’ recap: Were you shocked by ‘The Walking Dead’?

05.09.13 4 years ago 3 Comments

The CW

This was starting to feel like one of those episodes where everyone runs around in search of someone else, then stops to spit out exposition, the runs around some more. Really, that would have been preferable, just because no one tends to DIE in those episodes (if you haven’t seen the episode, for God sakes don’t keep reading, seriously. Spoiler, spoiler, SPOILER alert!). No, Bonnie brings down the veil and all hell breaks loose, but not the hell we were expecting, and I think I may need to go lie down. This was just a lot to absorb, people.

We start things off with Elena (isn’t everything about Elena?). Stefan wants her to take out her feelings on concrete blocks. Elena wants to take out her feelings on Katherine’s liver. “Maybe I just want to feel the warmth of her chest cavity as I rip out her heart,” she says. How sweet! 

There is then a lot of Elena wandering around looking for Katherine. And her liver. We can skip that part.

What Elena doesn’t know is that Katherine, her liver, and Bonnie are in the forrest, where Bonnie is being creepy. She’s meditating and humming and doing whatever else is needed to drop the veil for a few moments to ask the long dead superwitch Katsia for some favors. Katherine wisely points out that unleashing the evil dead on the world to ask for tips on what to do about Silas possibly get the recipe for granting Katherine eternal life may be kinda dumb. Bonnie doesn’t care. Thus, Katherine has to stand there and put up with whatever Bonnie wants, because they’re linked. It’s Bonnie’s way of stopping Silas from pretending to be Katherine. We will later learn this is a total waste of time, but Bonnie doesn’t know that yet.

Stefan and Damon also run around a bit, because that’s what they have to do if neither one of them gets to make out with Elena during the episode. They go to the hospital, where Sheriff Forbes shows them a bled-out guy and they infer that Silas is fueling up for a big gig. This is also their chance to explain the veil thing to Sheriff Forbes (and to those of us who weren’t paying attention for the last, I dunno, ten episodes) and inform us all that the full moon is tomorrow night. Zoinks! 

When Elena isn’t looking for Katherine and her liver, she has unfortunate run-ins with other people. She makes sure Rebekah knows they’re no longer friends. Caroline, because she’s a glutton for punishment, also wants to know if they’re no longer friends. I’m not sure why Caroline even wants to be Elena’s friend given that Elena was so mean to her, but Caroline is nothing if not devoted. “Do you still think I’m a repulsive blood sucking control freak monster?” she asks nervously. Elena’s answer is, basically, that she’ s not apologizing, so I think that means, “Yes, but don’t hate me for it.”

Then, the lights go out in Mystic Falls, which means that everything looks slightly darker than usual. I’m telling you, we all need to start a Kickstarter campaign to but this production some floor lamps. I really can’t see a damn thing, can you? In addition to the lights going out, a fierce wind kicks up and that can only mean one thing. Or it could mean a lot of things, but in this case, it’s that Bonnie linked the final hot spot in the expression triangle, which sounds like an AT&T commercial, really.

Stefan and Caroline go hunting for Bonnie and Katherine, but where are they? They should be right here! Oh, they’re in the right place, but above ground. Silly vampires! Everything fun and spooky happens underground in Mystic Falls, where everything is damp and very, very dark! If I lived in Mystic Falls, I’d definitely get one of those flashlights that snaps on to your keychain. Or I’d become a vampire. That seems just as easily accomplished.

Finally, Katherine gives Bonnie the icky tombstone, and Bonnie squeezes the blood out of it (which makes it that much ickier), and thus channels the expression triangle. The veil is down. Oh man, Bonnie, make this quick, okay? I have such a bad feeling about this. I just know some big bad is going to show up. 

The big bad is actually Alaric, who is not big or bad. Damon doesn’t trust that it’s really Alaric, so Alaric has to show him that he knows the secret locker hiding spot for booze. Silas don’t know no hidden booze spots, yo! Alaric’s visit kind of makes it seem as if bringing down the veil is just going to be a fun excuse for guest spots that let us see our favorite “Vampire Diaries” characters even after they’ve been killed off. But yeah, not so much. 

The next ghost that shows up is, wait for it… Kol! He wants to kill Elena, since he can’t kill Jeremy. I’m wondering if he couldn’t just kill and rekill Jeremy in the world behind the veil since the kid is probably right there, hanging out. But no, Kol wants to kill Elena. Whatever, Kol.

When he doesn’t see Elena, he decides to stab Matt a little, just for kicks. It doesn’t kill him, thankfully. Really, everyone has to stop killing Matt for a while. It’s just mean after a certain point. Rebekah offers to heal him, but Matt points out that he doesn’t want to accidentally get turned into a vampire, and he wants to graduate high school as a human. Good thinking, Matt. At least somebody needs to stay human. And not die, preferably. 

Finally, Elena gets what she’s been wanting for so long — her catfight with herself! Or really, Katherine! This must have been a huge pain to shoot, but it’s still great fun. Elena somehow gets the upper hand (note to self: smashing concrete blocks is a good workout) and does a real number on Katherine. The catch is, because Katherine is bonded to Bonnie, Elena is also doing a real number on Bonnie.

Stefan, who has already found poor, screaming Bonnie and ordered Caroline to babysit her, steps in just before Elena delivers a fatal blow. Thank goodness, because we can’t kill Katherine! Although I will say, if Good Elena doesn’t start acting a lot nicer soon it’s going to be pretty darn hard to tell these two apart.

Rebekah and Matt show up only to discover that Bonnie is gone and Caroline is frantically cutting herself. What can they do to stop her from following Silas’ sadistic orders and possibly chopping off her own paws? Rebekah slaps her silly, and Caroline is cured. And calls Rebekah a bitch. See? No good deed goes unpunished on this show! But this means that Silas is now posing as Caroline, and Bonnie can’t really see Silas’ true face, and now everything is about to get really, really confusing (as opposed to just really confusing, which it already was).

Silas/Caroline informs Bonnie that she can only see what he wants her to see, and then he becomes Silas/Stefan, and then Bonnie just looks depressed. “I will always be one step ahead!” Silas/Whoever proclaims. Yeah, that’s what bad guys say right before they get smote. I am just thrilled I had a chance to use that word in a sentence. 

While Silas is being Alaric and bouncing around and generally being annoying, Grams shows up. Not Silas/Grams, just Grams. And she tells Bonnie that, despite what Silas has told her, she can do whatever the hell she wants. She has Expressionism! And even though Grams hates the stuff, this might be the time to use it. 

So, that was simple. Just try harder, Bonnie! Just like that, Damon realizes Alaric is really Silas, and Bonnie makes the blood clot in his veins and turns his body to stone. I wish all problems were solved so easily, but I suppose it helps when you’re a witch.

In other news, Elena is feeling sad. After informing Stefan that she has no intention of dealing with her grief and she hates him, too (so nyah nyah), she decides to visit Jeremy’s grave. It seems that when all hell is breaking loose, it’s a good time to visit the cemetery. She even brings flowers. I guess when you’re a vampire you don’t wait for proper visiting hours. Anyway, she tells Jeremy’s headstone that she wanted to kill Katherine for him, but she couldn’t. She misses him! She can’t handle him being gone! She can’t do this vampire crap anymore! 

Then, Kol shows up. I was hoping it would be Jeremy with hugs and reassurances, but oh, well. Maybe he’s busy behind the veil making ghost-killing arrows or something. Kol proceeds to smack the hell out of Elena (Nina Dobrev must have been HUGELY bruised after his episode) and gets ready to kill her. What does Elena have to say about that? “Kill me. You’d be doing me a favor!” Well, Elena, we also wouldn’t have a show anymore, so don’t be selfish! Take one for the team!

But then, Jeremy shows up, having had a chance to comb his hair and check the DVR or whatever the equivalent is on the other side. He fires an arrow at Kol, which Kol easily catches. Kol is all ready to kill Jeremy (so, just checking, you can die twice?), until Stefan appears and snaps his neck. Time for hugging! Elena is so glad to see Jeremy!

Then, Elena has to talk to everyone BUT Jeremy. She apologizes to Bonnie, she apologizes to Stefan, she apologizes to Damon, she finds a small bug she once stepped on and rocks it while singing the entire collected works of Fitz and the Tantrums. Finally, she realizes that, oh YEAH, this stupid veil isn’t down forever and she should spend time hugging her darn brother! 

While all of this is going on, Stefan goes to the Mystic Grill, where he sees Caroline. Caroline wants to celebrate! There’s so much to celebrate! Silas is a big lump of rock just awaiting an ocean dumping, and all is well, right? RIGHT, STEFAN? Alas, no. He was hoping that once the veil came down, he’d get a visit from someone. And who would that be? Cue Lexi to walk through the door. Stefan is so happy to see her! Man, this is starting to be a feel good episode, isn’t it?

Yeah, of course not. But we’re getting to that.

Damon and Alaric share a drink and then, yes, Alaric gives him something he found on a dead body. THE CURE. So, that’s back on. 

Oh, and Bonnie’s working again. She wants to keep Jeremy in the land of the living! Grams shows up and tells her to cut it the hell out. But Bonnie is being bullheaded and then she gets all veiny and then she’s dead. 

Yeah. Bonnie. Is. Dead.

So this whole happy, feel-good thing? Officially over. What are our vampires going to do without their witch? What are we going to do without Bonnie? She was the mostly sane one! 

Worse, though Bonnie is dead, a couple of ghosts sneaked into Mystic Falls while the veil was down. Alexander, a vampire hunter ex of Rebekah’s, shows up. Connor Jordan is in the house! Galen is back! Oh, crap.

Well, it should be a nail biting, crazy, stressful finale. I’m thinking there won’t be a lot of walking around. Maybe running. And screaming. But not walking.

Were you glad to see any of the ghosts? What do you think will happen to Bonnie? 

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