The new teaser trailer from Legendary Pictures Godzilla reboot has everyone excited again about a mutated monster dinosaur and the trail of destruction it leaves in it’s wake. Humans are mad masochistic. But while everything looks epic, there were a few questions left to us by the end.
#1 – Where did all the experienced soldiers go?
What was supposed to be a rousing speech to bolster the troops courage accidentally reminded them everyone who knew what they were doing is dead. Whoops!
#2 – Why would you send humanity’s best hope into the fray with a giant “HERE WE ARE” tail?
Guys maybe don’t attach the equivalent of a neon “Tasty Treats” smoke plume to your rookies. Unless that’s actually Liquid Smoke and the new plan is to sacrifice people to our new Godzilla overlord.
#3 – Yo what’s up with the sky? Did we nuke* the city?
That is not normal storm sky. That’s not even normal “the city is burning sky,” begging the question who’s really worse for Earth? Godzilla or trigger happy humans? Bonus question! Anyone recognize this skyline? Where exactly is our monster rampaging?
#4 – What are twelve guys supposed to do against such reckless hate?
The sacrifice theory is really starting to shape up.
#5 – Um, shouldn’t those paratroopers be deploying their chutes by now?
Look, I’m no expert but that General dude said these guys were making a HALO (high-altitude military parachuting) jump meaning they all jumped out somewhere between 15,000 and 35,000 feet. Aren’t they getting a little close to the skyscrapers and the ground with nary a parachute rip chord to be pulled? Also, RIP guy who fell into Godzilla line of sight.
#6 – Hey guys, what’s in the creepy vault? Surely nothing that will destroy us with our own hubris?
Anything that takes two military personnel to open while a squad covers them can only end in blood and tears. But that door is waaaaay too small for Godzilla to even fit his pinkie toe through.
#7 – Shouldn’t this building collapse from structural integrity failure?
This is a serious question. Any architectural engineers in the audience?
#8 – Did Godzilla just make the most divalicious entrance ever?
Smoke machine? Check. Slow reveal? Check. Butt to the camera? Check. Fabulous smile? Check. Godzilla knows you only get one chance to make a first impression!
*Bonus: Answer to question #3 – Yes. Yes we did.