Every Friday or so we pick the winners to the weekend’s hottest matchups. We call it Weekend Picks. Home teams are in ALL CAPS. Stay tuned for the latest Guide To Recognizing Your Mascots after this post.
Tonight: Bulls -9.5 over CAVS. Chicago locked up the 1-seed in the Eastern Conference playoffs last night, but the Bulls have been sickeningly hot of late. They’ve won 5 of their last 6 and 17 of their last 19. And they’re 47-30 against the spread on the year. Don’t expect Derrick Rose to sit; he’s putting the finishing touches on an MVP season.
Saturday: Reds over DIAMONDBACKS. Or are they just the D-Backs now? Anyway, I like it when the Reds are out west because I can listen to the last few innings after an evening of alcohol-infused social interaction. The Reds are in the top two in the NL for batting average, slugging and on-base percentage. and Bronson Arroyo is slated to get the start. He’s good, right?
Nick Diaz -225 over Paul Daley. It’s the welterweights headlining the latest STRIKEFORCE event. What do I know about Nick Diaz? Not much, only that he’s an Olympic gymnast and it’s the best sex she’s ever had.
Minnesota-Duluth over Michigan. It’s the NCAA hockey national championship. So don’t get used to betting on Minnesota-Duluth. That’s where the trouble starts.
Sunday: BLACKHAWKS over Red Wings. Chicago has two games left, and they’re clinging to that 8-seed in the West. The only thing weirder than the defending Stanley Cup champs missing the playoffs is why Chicago is a Western Conference team. I never understood that.
Fred Couples over FIELD. I’m only picking Couples to win the Masters because it will look totally awesome if he actually does. At least, it would have if I hadn’t actually revealed my motivation there. Whoops.