Best: Let’s Go Miz
Again, check out this babyface motherf**ker right here. Sure, Rey Mysterio is headbutting a bunch of children, but Miz is beating everybody on one leg, CLEAN, with his finisher. When he can’t walk freely he’s forced to wrestle, and that makes him great.
Maybe that’s been the storyline all along? I mentioned how I thought Miz hadn’t recovered from his Wrestlemania concussion and that his fall at Money in the Bank was the next unfortunate event, but maybe it’s all been on purpose. Maybe a clean bill of health makes Miz lazy and causes him to take shortcuts, but he’s so internally scared of losing his dream job an injury makes him focus and work harder. Pay attention to how often he mentions everyone saying he was never going to make it, how often he says people like JBL told him to quit. Injuries CAUSE a sense of urgency. That’s great.
Best: I Am Interested In Hearing R-Truth’s Catchphrases
Truth’s Pretty Ricky run so far, starting circa his water-beatdown on John Morrison and continuing through his “that briefcase better not have spiders in it” promo from last week, has been so great that even if he gets into a stagnant spot (like he’s in now), I will still give him a best just for saying a snippet of something I laughed at before. His backstage interview with Scott F’n Stanford was basically just him saying “CONSPURCY” and “GON GET GOT”, but I clapped my hands and did the nyah hee hee Chris Farley fat child laugh.
The wrestling I can take or leave with Truth, but every week I would like to know what is in the process of getting gotten.
Worst: Silent Rage Might Be Related To Me
Tough Enough winner Andy Leavine is in the process of Sean OHaire’ing himself. He’s building this complex emotional character that will come off a lot stupider in person and eventually cause him to fail. O’Haire did that with his Devil’s Advocate act. I was like YEAH, I SHOULD EAT TONS OF FOOD and YEAH, YOU’RE RIGHT, I’M GONNA CHEAT ON MY WIFE during the vignettes, but when he was just a piss-looking guy rubbing his hands behind Roddy Piper I didn’t care.
So far Andy’s character is “an extremely poor chunk of white trash who is quiet, but then suddenly sometimes gets pissed off”. More succinctly his character is “every person in the South”. When he walked into his old house and kicked around a bunch of garbage in the company of meth dealers and crackheads, I didn’t think “man, he’s faced hardships”, I thought “hey, my room used to have garbage like that”. You see, I’m from a poor, drug-infested neighborhood in racially-volatile southern Virginia, and the only difference between me and Andy is that if I called myself “Silent Rage” I wouldn’t screenprint it on a shirt and wear it 24 hours a day. Also, I wouldn’t call myself “Silent Rage”.