Finally, something less constructive than Air Sex!
Welcome to Britain’s National Shin-Kicking Championships, a test of European might wherein guys stuff hay into their tube socks and kick each other in the shins until one falls down. It’s the centerpiece of the Cotswold Olimpick Games, a 400-year tradition that also includes potato sack races and tug-of-war. I don’t know exactly why this happens, but my working theory is that a bunch of 8-year olds in 1600s Great Britain f**ked around on Field Day and didn’t stop for four centuries. That, or England bases its athletic exhibitions on episodes of ‘The Brady Bunch’.
Our very own Christmas Ape wrote about the sport in 2008 and Burnsy’s hero is the Thunder Shin Man, but this is my first chance to share two guys kicking the sh*t out of each others’ shins for sport and I’m taking it. But hey, don’t think shin-kicking is just about kicking another guy in the shins — that would royally piss off judge James Wiseman.
“I kind of get quite annoyed when people think shin-kicking is literally two guys just facing each other and kicking each other as hard as possible in the shins.”
“It’s like they didn’t even SEE us stuffing hay into our socks.”
Maybe this just started off as a way for British guys to ruin their opponents for the sack race. I don’t know, I’m going to spend the rest of the day coming up with explanations.