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Your Week 5 NFL Recap

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Let’s just say the Patriots-Broncos game could make this a bitter affair.

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“He’s Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack…”

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<a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4356802">T.O. gave his take</a> on the matter, but Commissioner Roger Goddell obviously didn't take his advice under advisement.

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VICK RELEASED…BY THE FALCONS

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The Michael Vick Era is, only now, officially over.

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EVERYBODY HATES MICHAEL VICK

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After learning that NFL teams <a href="http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/real_scouts/entry/view/23560/falcons_were_shopping_vick_for_7th-rounder">were unwilling to take even a 7th-round pick</a> for Michael Vick, the Albany Firebirds of the developmental league <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Af2">arenafootball2</a> offered Vick a contract.

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VICK HAS CONSTRUCTION JOB LINED UP

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Michael Vick plans to work 40 hours a week at a construction company upon his release from prison, according to statements Vick's lawyer made in a bankruptcy court appearance yesterday.

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VICK THINKS HE CAN GET $10 MILLION A YEAR

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When Michael Vick finishes up his time as a guest of the federal government, he's expecting to go back into the NFL and score one more payday before his career goes the way of.

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JAMAL ANDERSON SNORTED COKE OFF A TOILET

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Most of you remember former Falcons running back Jamal Anderson as the proprietor of the "Dirty Bird," that variation of the Chicken Dance that was all the rage during Atlanta's run to Super Bowl XXXIII.

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LAWYER MILLOY BUSTED FOR DUI

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Falcons safety Lawyer Milloy was <a href="http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/09/15/falcon_milloy_dui.html" target="_blank">arrested on charges of driving under the influence</a> early this morning.

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NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THE WHITE GUY PLAY

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Despite having a new, fresh-faced Caucasian quarterback in Matt Ryan and first-year head coach, or perhaps because of them, the Atlanta Falcons are having trouble selling out their first home game this Saturday against Detroit.

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MATT RYAN BROKE THE RECORD FOR AWKWARD

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Top Falcons draft picks Matt Ryan and Sam Baker received a hearty welcome to Atlanta, where they were quickly shuffled to the theater to stand in front of the cast of Oklahoma.

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MATT RYAN IS EXPENSIVE

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Amidst all this talk of potential labor strife and rookie salary capping, The Atlanta Falcons signed Matt Ryan to a six-year deal yesterday that would make me hate my life if it weren't for the fact that I don't consider professional athletes to be real human beings, and that's not necessarily an insult.

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DARREN MCFADDEN IS FAST, HATES CONDOMS

By | 19 Comments

Superstud Arkansas running back Darren McFadden turned in one of the most impressive performances of the scouting combine when he ran a blistering 4.

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THE FALCONS WANT TO LOSE IN THE PLAYOFFS

By | 7 Comments

According to the San Diego Union Tribune, <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7593648" title="FOX" target="_blank">the Atlanta Falcons are trying to get their third choice for a new head coach, Marty Schottenheimer</a>, and his former cohort in San Diego, current Chargers' Assistant GM Buddy Nix.

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MICHAEL VICK LOST $142 MILLION

By | 27 Comments

This story is a couple days old now, but it's the kind of uplifting turn of events we need to cleanse our palates of the cynicism that crept into our lives with the Mitchell Report.

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SOME COACH WENT SOMEWHERE ELSE

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Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3150783" target="_blank">resigned abruptly yesterday</a> to return to the college ranks and coach Arkansas.

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CARL WEIGHS IN ON MICHAEL VICK

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div#main{overflow:visible;}<a href="http://www.adultswim.com/video/index.html" style="display: block">This week, Carl makes some good points about dog fighting.  Seriously, "where else are they going to fight?  In a hot tub, full of chocolate pudding, with all the strippers?"  I swear that guy has to be my dad. In other semi-Vick-related news, the Falcons got <a href="http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter?season=2007&week=REG14&game_id=29402" target="_blank">blown out by the Saints 34-14</a> on Monday Night Football.

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FALCONS CHEERLEADER SUES AFTER ASSAULT

By | 30 Comments

Because NFL cheerleading gigs pay little to nothing, Falcons cheerleader <a href="http://www.atlantafalcons.com/People/Cheerleaders/Shayla.aspx" target="_blank">Shayla Stevens</a> used to work part-time as a waitress at a nightclub -- right up until the time she got assaulted by Da Brat and her employer ignored her injury.

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THE GIANTS ARE… GOOD?

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The New York FOOTBALL Giants <a href="http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter/recap?game_id=29283&displayPage=tab_recap&season=2007&week=REG6" target="_blank">beat the Falcons 31-10 last night</a> to notch their fourth straight victory and improve to 4-2.

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MICHAEL VICK IS AN OUTSTANDING HUMAN BEING

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Finally, a respected organization is <a href="http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13815031/detail.html" target="_blank">backing Michael Vick as a person</a> despite the media's smear campaign: the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.


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