xmas ape

Don’t Deny Us Our Jets ‘Hard Knocks’ Sequel, Rex – KSK Kontent Klearinghouse

| 17 Comments

Because writing off-season posts about dumb quotes about what people wear to press conferences has me missing football a little more than usual, I'll lead off the Klearinghouse with this 10-minute video recently posted on Reddit of defense porn with clips of at least one defensive score from each team in the league.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Jay Cutler

| 49 Comments

I'm sorry, Jay Cutler, that your toughness came into question while we were getting our asses handed to us by the Packers on Sunday.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Peyton Manning

| 20 Comments

I'm sorry, Peyton Manning, about your sudden collapse in the fourth quarter of your Monday night game.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Serena Williams

| 19 Comments

I was sorry, Serena Williams, to learn this morning that you were dumped by your boyfriend.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Tom Dempsey

| 21 Comments

I'm sorry, Tom Dempsey, that the 36th anniversary of your historic achievement yesterday received little to no mention in the intricate, obese web that is sports news.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Lance Briggs

| 25 Comments

I am sorry that you wrecked your $350,000 car the other day, Lance.

WHORES

I’m Sorry, Paris Hilton

| 40 Comments

I am sorry that you went to jail, mainly because now someone else will have a chance to rape you, although that may be a misnomer since you really don't know the meaning of the word "no.

The apologetic Brian Urlacher

I’m Sorry, Vince Lombardi Trophy

| 22 Comments

When I saw you for the first time I wanted so badly to be with you.


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