VITORIA

New Anti-Diving Strategy: If They Dive, Kick The Crap Out Of Them

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To the untrained eye, soccer is a sport where people with no fight training or impulse control hang out and kick a ball around until one of them overreact and everybody starts brawling.

VITORIA

Basketball Is Gone Forever, So Watch This Soccer Guy F**k Up A Lambeau Leap

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I guess the yelling GOAAAAAAAAAL thing is the best part of being a soccer announcer, but I feel like if I watched a guy try to jump into the stands and end up trapped in a field-side bush I'd stop screaming for a second and say something about it.


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