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Nestle Plants GPS Devices In Candy Bars In Bid For Creepiest Promotion Ever

By 09.27.12

Despite what your friend on Facebook will insist, America is not a police state. We’ve got our problems, but ultimately most Americans are uncomfortable enough with surveillance that a true police state would never happen.

No, if you want a democracy on the verge of collapsing into a police state, you need to go to jolly old England, the land of the CCTV camera. They’re so comfortable with surveillance, Nestle just announced they’re putting GPS trackers in candy bars for lucky winners in some stupid contest.

Here’s the mildly disturbing ad for this:

We know what you’re thinking and currently we have no word as to whether Nestle will actually replace the candy bar they ruined with a GPS device crammed in it.

But on the slightly less pressing issue of why in God’s name anybody would think this is a good idea, we guess it’s just supposed to be neat that ten seconds after buying a candy bar, a SWAT team jumps from a helicopter and sprints towards you holding a steel case. There is absolutely no way whatsoever that this will not end badly.

We can’t wait for Nestle to try something like this over here. We’re sure that GPS receivers in food will be greeted calmly and rationally by members of Free Republic and that guy who hands out the brochures about Frankenfood at the grocery store.


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