Great news, everybody: James Van Der Beek is a gynecologist now! Hold on, that came out wrong. He’s not actually a gynecologist now, he’s just pretending to be one. Wait, crap. That makes it sound even worse, like James Van Der Beek is running around from town to town practicing gynecology without a license. He’s almost definitely not doing that. I mean, as far as I know. It’s not like I keep tabs on the man. Look, you know what? Just to be safe, if any of you ladies show up for your yearly and your doctor looks suspiciously like James Van Der Beek, ask to see some ID, or maybe his medical license. Can’t be too careful. Especially these days.
Anyway, what I was trying to get at is that the former Dawson’s Creek star has landed on his feet after the cancellation of Don’t Trust the B, and will play a gynecologist in a new CBS pilot titled Friends With Better Lives.
The project’s been described as a “a group of thirty-something friends who each think the other has it better.” He’ll play Will Stokes, one of two doctors with a gynecology practice. His character is smart, sarcastic and trying to recover from his soon-to-be ex-wife’s infidelity. [EW]
Okay, but seriously, about that James Van Der Beek fake gynecologist thing … what if he’s doing it to prepare for this role? What if he started out doing research — talking to gynecologists, sitting in on some of the less sensitive parts of the practice, etc. — but then one day he walked in and the receptionist told him the doctor was called out on an emergency, and he was all “You know what? I’m The Beek. I got this,” and started actually seeing patients? And then what if the doctor came back and caught him and was like “That’s it. OUT!,” but he was hooked on the game now and started hopping from small town to small town posing as a lady doctor to get his fix? And then what if a bunch of women are all “Ooo, hey. This doc looks kinda like James Van Der Beek” so they let him examine them? And what if he meant really well but just didn’t have the necessary skills and things went wrong? Like, REALLY wrong. What then?
Below, please find an artist’s rendering of what he may look like in this scenario. Ladies, if you see this man in your doctor’s office, please contact the authorities.
Photo credit: s_bukley/Shutterstock