Thunder Fans Take Dead Aim At Kevin Durant With These Nasty Yelp Reviews Of His Restaurant

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Since Kevin Durant decided to leave Oklahoma City, we’ve had the standard fare of crybaby sports fans trying to make Durant feel bad (or perhaps terrified). There was the dad who made his child cry so he could make a video to tweet at Durant and the guy who burned Durant’s jersey.

Then there were the dudes who opened fire with assault rifles on Durant’s jersey, perhaps the video we place in a time capsule to capture America, 2016.

Now, fans have found a new way to attack Durant online — through his restaurant’s Yelp page.

Durant is the owner of KD’s and the good news for him is if people think his food is bland, there’s enough saltiness in the latest reviews to give his dishes plenty of kick. In an effort to help scorned fans improve their bitter sports takes, allow me to review the reviews.

JO (we know what that stands for) writes:

I had their chicken and it was terrible. Felt cheated out of my meal. It came with a side of Benedict Arnold eggs, which I thought was ironic. Way overpriced and I felt that I was abandoned by the staff. Ignored and treated terribly. Never again!

That’s not irony. In any way. You can’t be cheated out of your meal if you ordered it and it was brought to you, as per your agreement with the waiter or waitress. As for your feeling that the meal was overpriced, the cost of services is listed on the menu, so it’s your fault for not understanding basic economics. The staff probably ignored you because you wouldn’t stop incorrectly talking about irony.

Brian J writes:

So much potential that never really materialized. I was going to give it another chance but I opted for the other restaurant across town that was better. If you can’t eat em join em!

Well, Brian, here’s the thing: If you patronized this restaurant and felt like it would never get it done for you, you are well within your rights to try another restaurant. As a matter of fact, if a highly regarded, exclusive restaurant considered one of the best of the world is willing to seat you, why wouldn’t you go? Wouldn’t the true fool be the one that goes to one restaurant for nine years when a better one exists and you only have a small window for enjoying these delicacies?

Ari A writes:

Ordered a 2007 Pinot noir that was highly recommended by the waiter. Thought it would have gotten much better with age, but it lacked the boldness that I expected. Will go with a California varietal next time. And the fried chicken was terrible.

Wine is only as good as the pallet, and it sounds as though you didn’t appreciate this 2007 properly. It was voted the best wine in the entire world in 2014 and spent most of the other nine years carrying the mediocre meals you’ve been ordering. If you thought the fried chicken was bad with the 2007 Pinot, wait until you see how it tastes without it.

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Dustin Z writes:

This place feels like that moment your up 3-1 to choke away the next three games then you jump ship to the team that beat you who also choked away a 3-1 series lead to the KING!

At least the other reviewers are making an effort to tie the restaurant’s food to their subpar jokes. What is this? This place feels like losing a 3-1 series lead? There’s so little creativity and hot takery to this that … yes, breaking news: Dustin Z is the new co-host of ESPN’s First Take. Also, it’s you’re, not your.

Jordan C writes, complete with an attached photo of a burning Durant jersey:

Just as I was getting ready to eat something great, it was taken away. Thrown directly in the toilet, because it’s an easier route to the end goal.

Wait, your end goal when ordering food at a restaurant is taking a dump? I’m pretty sure everyone’s end goal is eating the food that’s been placed before you.

Finally, Ron G from Sacramento leaves the only review worth reading:

Best drink on the menu = “Tears of Thunder Fans”

Ron is right. They are satisfying and delicious in every way.