Madison Square Garden Will Apparently Sell Cheetos Ice Cream Sundaes At Knicks And Rangers Games

One of my favorite television shows is Chopped. It is a wonderful show that highlights the abilities that some of the best culinary minds in the world possess at making flavors work in harmony with one another, no matter how unconventional they may be. It has also inspired a generation of chefs who do not appear on the show to test things and see how they work, which is generally a good thing. Here, we will discuss something that is decidedly not a good thing.

Darren Rovell tweeted out a picture of a dessert that people who attend Knicks and Rangers games at Madison Square Garden will be able to spend good, hard-earned, American dollars on. I want to warn you before you scroll down and see a picture of this item — which, yes, is exactly what the headline of this piece says it is — that it made me feel very, very weird. Ok?

This is your last warning.

Please, I beg you, turn back now.

Ok, here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, a Cheetos ice cream sundae.

I don’t like this! Vanilla ice cream is very good, both on its own and, more importantly, as a blank canvas on which you can stack up flavors. It’s perfect for people who like toppings, because when you get vanilla ice cream, you can bombard it with sauces and syrups and sprinkles and other things, some of which do not begin with the letter S. You can do this with other flavors of ice cream, of course, but vanilla is the one that works in harmony with topping the best. Like a pair of jeans, it goes with basically everything.

Having said all of that, and while acknowledging that some types of salty toppings — like, for example, nuts — go well on ice cream, Cheetos absolutely do not. The mix of artificial cheese flavor, along with whatever the hell that syrup appears to be on the ice cream, is, to quote Binging With Babish’s comment about store-bought macaroni salad, offensive to “all five of the senses.” This exists in the realm that many unsuccessful food mashups exist in, one that has a number of failed dishes from culinary minds who believed mixing two good things would, naturally, create a good thing. Food, however, does not work that way. Does a chicken milkshake sound good, even though chicken is good and milkshakes are, also, good? Of course not. This also applies for a Cheetos ice cream sundae.

Now, to give Madison Square Garden some credit, this looks tasty.

This does not excuse the sundae. You would get chopped for this. I am confident in saying that. Geoffrey Zakarian would not like this, either conceptually or, if I had to guess, in practice.