Super Bowl of Crap

01.25.10 9 years ago 36 Comments

David Stern knew better than to seriously compete with the NFL conference championships on Sunday, putting only three games on the NBA schedule. And good thing the Vikings lost, because if Brett Favre had made the Super Bowl, the media hype over the next two weeks might lead the NBA to suspend their operation altogether until after the entire world hopped off Favre’s jock. Peyton Manning/Drew Brees — plus some Kim Kardashian sprinkled in — we can deal with; a 24-hour, 14-day Favre love fest would be too much to handle … The Mavs faced the Knicks at MSG, and, well, Dime reader JHUSTLE can explain it best: “Aight Dime the next post has gotta be how my Mavs just destroyed the Knicks by 50. FIFTY POINTS???!!! Woooooooow just burn the Garden to the ground after that one. That team should be ashamed of themselves. That’s a 2K10 score, not a real life NBA game score. SMFH.” … Down two starters thanks to Erick Dampier‘s knee and Jason Kidd‘s personal issues, Dallas still treated NY like an intramural squad at DeVry. If it wasn’t Jared Jeffries getting dunked on by Shawn Marion, it was Danilo Gallinari leaving Dirk Nowitzki (20 pts) and Jason Terry (20 pts) six and seven feet of open space to bust jumpers, or Rodrique Beaubois hitting crazy H-O-R-S-E shots, or everybody from Josh Howard to James Singleton getting breakaway buckets. Maybe our vision was blurry, but at one point we could’ve sworn Rodrick Rhodes and Cherokee Parks were out there giving the Knicks problems … Drew Gooden has always been like a Coupon Carlos Boozer, but NY made him look like the real deal, as he put up 15 points and 18 boards … Asked afterward if his team really gave any effort at all, Mike D’Antoni said, “I hope not. If we did, we’re in trouble.” … If you don’t know why the Lakers fan at your office is walking around today like he’s about to snap and go Denzel-in-Book of Eli on everybody, here’s why: With 11 seconds left in the fourth, L.A. was up one, Raptors ball. Hedo Turkoglu and Chris Bosh ran the high screen, allowing Hedo to switch from Ron Artest guarding him to Pau Gasol. Hedo did his herky-jerky drive routine into the lane, and when Gasol, Artest and Lamar Odom converged, Odom was called for the foul while Hedo went for a layup. Sent to the line with 1.2 seconds left, Hedo made both free throws, and one Kobe miss later, the Raps got the W … Nobody is questioning whether or not there was contact — Odom definitely got Hedo with the body coming from the left side — but it was one of those “You don’t make that call in that situation” kind of things. To be fair, though, you know if the tables were turned and Kobe (27 pts, 16 rebs, 9 asts) took that same hit from anybody with that much time left, he’d get the foul. (Ask a Bucks fan.) And if Kobe didn’t get the foul, he’d go Book of Eli on his own behalf … Is Toronto the land where once-hyped point guards go to die? Just a couple years ago you had T.J. Ford plant the seeds of his descent into Tinsleyville as a Raptor; now you’ve got Jose Calderon going from borderline All-Star to a guy getting 15 minutes a night, and don’t forget Marcus Banks is on the T-Dot roster. We’re just saying, don’t be surprised when Acie Law or Sebastian Telfair winds up wearing Raptors’ colors soon … Speaking of Bassy, he’s expected to miss 4-6 weeks with a groin injury, so the Clippers picked up JamesOn Curry to take his place. In the meantime, the Clips don’t seem to miss Bassy too much. Baron Davis had 11 points, 11 dimes and five steals in Sunday’s rout of the Wizards … Forget that he plays for the Clippers and that he has next to no mainstream profile: The biggest thing hurting Chris Kaman‘s case for All-Star is that you could make a very strong case that he’s not even the most important big man on his team. Marcus Camby doesn’t score like Kaman, but when he’s a beast on the boards and blocking shots — he grabbed 19 rebounds and swatted five against the Wizards — the Clips are an actual threat … We’re out like The Sanchize …

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