How Could You Not Hire Tim Duncan After Seeing His Fan-Created LinkedIn Page?

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Now that Tim Duncan has ridden off into the sunset after his legendary career, it’s natural to wonder what’s next for him. We know he’s a smart guy who wouldn’t be comfortable on the tried-and-true track to TV analyst, nor has he ever seemed all that interested in a front office position. So the possibilities are endless — or he might just work on cars. But one thing’s for sure: He’s going to want to maintain his business connections online.

Though Kyler calls this real, that’s only to say that it’s really a page on LinkedIn, because it was not created by Duncan himself. Though if it was, we wouldn’t be surprised — the list of his skills perfectly fits with his dry sense of humor. Imagine Duncan handing this resume to the regional manner at an accounting firm.

“Well, I would fit in well with a team atmosphere as you can see from my tenure at the San Antonio Spurs organization,” Duncan would say with a barely perceptible smirk, as the manager tried to remember where he knew this nearly seven-foot-tall giant in front of him. Also, you know that Duncan engaged his locker room in Socratic dialogue for real, in real life. That has to have actually happened at one point.

“As a believer, I try to win others as well round to the view that, in the business of acquiring immortality, it would be hard for human nature to find better partner than Love.”
-Socrates* or perhaps the greatest power forward of all time.

* Plato’s Symposium, translated by Robin Waterfield, 1994.