In a touching moment in Prime Video’s Red, White, And Royal Blue, Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez) comes out to his mother, President Ellen Claremont (Uma Thurman), revealing that he’s in love with the British Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine). While Alex is nervous about how his mother will handle the revelation, Ellen immediately accepts her son with open arms, phoning in an order for pizza.
Historically, we’ve seen coming out moments in film and television go one of two ways — the character’s friends and family either reject them, leaving them to find a new community, or they are initially reluctant to accept their sexuality or gender identity, but eventually come around. But in recent time, we’ve seen fresher, more relatable stories on-screen, demonstrating reassurance for characters who are already out within the context of the piece, newly out, or, in some cases, not even canonically queer.
After Ellen orders pizza in Red, White, And Royal Blue, she is seen holding and embracing Alex on the couch for as long as he needs. She then asks him, “Are you gay, bi, fluid, pan, or queer?,” expressing genuine interest in how her son identifies. Alex responds, “Mom, I’m bi,” and she reassures him “the B in LGBTQ is not a silent letter.” Though the romance between the British prince and the son of the American president comes with its controversies, Ellen shows to be fully supportive, and even offers him some sound advice.
The plot of Red, White, And Royal Blue is certainly not a universal romantic experience, however, this particular moment in the movie demonstrates a more loving and affirming coming-out experience. Ellen asks appropriate questions and provides support for Alex in a vulnerable moment, which is all most LGBTQ+ people want when they invite others into this facet of their lives. By including more moments like these on-screen, more young queer people can see that coming out isn’t always an end-all-be-all between them and their loved ones, and more of their loved ones are given examples of appropriate, safe responses to a newly out person in their lives.
But queer or not, expressing one’s true self and feelings may not result in a safe, functional environment. In a season two episode of FX’s The Bear, Chef Carmy Berzatto (Jeremy Allen White) celebrates The Feast Of The Seven Fishes, an Italian-American Christmas celebration in which family and friends gather around the table and eat seven different types of fish. The episode takes place outside of the show’s regular timeline, about five years before the opening of Carmy’s restaurant. A home full of yelling Italians, and a crowded kitchen spearheaded by an emotionally reactive Donna Berzatto, Carmy’s mother, who is brilliantly played by Jamie Lee Curtis, visibly overwhelms Carmy, who is later approached by his cousin, Michelle.
Sensing Carmy’s discomfort amid his dysfunctional family, Michelle, who is played by lesbian icon Sarah Paulson, makes Carmy a special offer.
“Do you want to come stay with me for a couple of days in New York?” asks Michelle. “Just like, get the f*ck out of here. I think it’s really important to keep your head in the game…this isn’t good for your head, this isn’t good for anybody’s head, but especially yours.”
Though Carmy isn’t explicitly queer, and neither is Paulson’s character in this episode, this particular moment resonated with The Bear’s black sheep viewers. Many queer viewers — and viewers, in general, who grew up in dysfunctional households — often find solace in an affirming family member. In an interview with Variety, White revealed that this scene was improvised.
“It was such a touching moment,” said White. “It ended up being one of my favorite scenes while watching it because it’s one of the only times Carmy feels really seen.”
While the scene may not necessarily allude to sexuality or gender outright, that it was improvised may indicate something personal to Paulson. It is also worth noting that while the openly queer Ayo Edebiri, who plays sous chef Sydney Adamu on The Bear, does not appear in the episode, she did co-produce the episode, thus wrapping this moment in a cozy, queer package.
As we have the science and language to more accurately describe sexuality and gender, we realize that these identities are more fluid than they are fixed. On Netflix’s Glamorous, which was unfortunately given the ax after its first season, we meet Marco Mejia (Miss Benny), a make-up-obsessed vlogger who lands a job at a luxury cosmetics brand. Throughout the season, we see Marco, who presents as a gay man through most of the episodes until the finale, balance the corporate world with dating and supporting their mother, Julia (Diana-Maria Riva).
Though Julia and Marco often butt heads, Julia is supportive of her child throughout their journey. In the finale, Marco begins to come out as transgender to their mother, who interrupts them and praises them for always knowing who they were. She concludes the conversation telling them “You’re the best daughter a mother could ever have.”
Confident in their gender expression, Marco is then seen visiting a doctor who specializes in transgender healthcare before the episode closes.
In an essay published in Time by Benny shortly before Glamorous’ premiere, she revealed that Marco’s journey aligns with her personal journey. She thanked the people who affirmed her identity, including the show’s creator Jordon Nardino and executive producer Kameron Tarlow, who allowed her the platform to tell her story with care.
“These two men changed my life the moment they heard my story and promised to protect and support me in telling it the way I wanted to,” Benny said.
The film and television landscape is evolving in tandem with the ways we understand gender and sexuality. No two people’s experiences are alike, however, community is essential. Through telling stories of acceptance and affirmation, modern works of cinema and media can display more authentic and relatable queer and queer-adjacent experiences. And viewers can take comfort in knowing that they will, somehow, find their people.
