16-year-old on acid with “super-human strength” spits blood on cops

This story from yesterday’s Marin Independent Journal may not be movie-related, strictly speaking, but I’m going to go ahead and file it under “real-life X-Men.”

So apparently a group of mostly 16-year-olds in Marin County, California (expensive suburb north of San Francisco, home of George Lucas) were having an LSD party at an empty house owned by one of their parents — the full Manson, in other words. One of them called the paramedics to report someone having a seizure, and when they showed up to the house…

Southern Marin Fire paramedics responded around 7:30 a.m. to a 911 call reporting a 16-year-old boy having a seizure at a residence said Marin County sheriff’s Lt. Doug Pittman, in what officials described as “a Mill Valley LSD party gone bad.”

When the paramedics tried to get in, another 16-year-old boy at the entry gate covered with blood attacked them with what they later described as “superhuman strength,” refusing to let them in, said Marin County sheriff’s Lt. Doug Pittman.

Waiter? I’ll have what he’s having.

The deputies were confronted by other partygoers, including a combative young girl, and called for backup. During the struggle, the boy spit blood on the responders, Pittman said. Mill Valley, Tiburon, Central Marin and California Highway Patrol officers responded and brought the situation under control, Pittman said.

“All points bulletin! We’ve got a combative teen girl, we’re going to need officers from at least… four divisions!”

The first responders found about 10 partygoers at the home, Pittman said. Some of them were also covered with blood from injuries the 16-year-old accidentally inflicted on himself while under the influence, Pittman said.

A 16-year-old girl whose family owns the residence, which is vacant and up for sale, had a key and let others in for a party that apparently started the night before, Pittman said.

The girl was cited under Marin County’s social host ordinance for hosting a gathering involving illegal conduct constituting a threat to public health, safety or the welfare of an underage person or persons, Pittman said. She was released to her parents.

The 16-year-old blood-spattered boy involved in the altercation at the gate, one 18-year-old man and one 18-year-old woman were arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of an unknown substance, resisting arrest, assaulting a peace officer, assaulting emergency rescue personnel and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, Pittman said.

The three were taken to a local hospital for medical treatment because all of them appeared to be under the influence of drugs and the 16-year-old boy was injured, Pittman said. Marijuana, cocaine, heroin and a “designer drug” similar to Ecstasy called DMD were found in the house, Pittman said. [Marin Independent Journal]

Look, I don’t know about you, but when I hear a police officer describe a suspect as having “superhuman strength,” I’d like to hear at least two or three examples. Did he tear the door off a squad car? Bite a phonebook in half? Kick a football over the moon, what? Details, man! Show don’t tell, that’s the first rule of police reports (or is it strip clubs?).

I’m still trying to decide whether a guy spinning in a circle vomiting blood on everyone else at the party makes your designer drug a failure or a wild success. These damned rich kids. When I was growing up, if we wanted to bleed from the mouth we had to pistol whip each other.