Senior Editor
12.12.07 49 Comments

The Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem marketing team has apparently decided to go the Dewey Cox route and let us watch the first five minutes of the film online.  In it, the Aliens invade the Predators’ spaceship, causing them to crash land on Earth during a deer hunt. Now, as you’ll remember from B-Movie Symbolism 101, Deer = “Once upon a time, everyone got along and things were good… until the (insert villain)s came…” 

I found myself giggling the whole time. A B-Movie that knows it’s a B-Movie (gore porn, basically) is a force to be reckoned with force with which to be reckoned.  The first AVP was rated PG-13 and sucked.  Like, a lot.  Everyone knows you can’t have a PG-13 porno. 

It’s like Bruckheimer flicks – he’s too stupid to realize he’s making porn, so he tries to make it appeal to kids with ghosts and rappin’ animals.  I guess what I’m saying is that Jerry Bruckheimer makes child porn. 

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