I always enjoy the lead up to Comic-Con, where studios “announce their Comic-Con plans!” for whatever movie they’re shilling. Gee, let me guess, you’re going to show an extended clip and throw trinkets at the nerds? Incredible! I know, I know, the word “nerd” is all but meaningless these days and gets tossed around all too casually, but when Harrison Ford shows up to Comic-Con and basically gets asked if he thinks Han Solo could beat up Mighty Mouse, I think it applies.
Here, the 71-year-old with a bit of a history of testy answers to dumb questions about Star Wars took the stage for an Ender’s Game (trailer) panel (moderated by official “nerd” Chris Hardwick) in the San Diego Convention Center’s Hall H, where Ford was asked numerous questions about his craft, his upbringing, and his thoughts on Ender’s Game author Orson Scott Card’s controversial stance on gay marriage. Hahahahahahahaha, I’m totally f*cking with you, they wanted to know about Han Solo.
“If Han Solo and Indiana Jones were to meet, what would be their first words to each other?”
FORD: “‘….Hi, how are you.'” (shrugs, takes off glasses, rubs his eyes).
Next, a Brazilian fan who starts by saying he broke his leg pretending to be Indiana Jones as a kid asks Ford:
“Do you think Han Solo would make a good soldier in Colonel Graff [from Ender’s Game]’s army?”
To this, Ford eventually gives a verbal answer, but I think the non-verbal reaction that preceded it says it all.
I call this the “Hoo Boy,” and it is the correct response.
“You know, you and I have a lot in common. I used to dream about being Indiana Jones when I was younger. Not so much anymore,” Ford said, pausing while the audience laughed. “I don’t think Han Solo would be good as a soldier in anybody’s army. I think he’s what we call now an independent contractor.”
If you want to make some real money, just go to Comic-Con, write down some of these ridiculous questions, and turn them into soft bondage-porn scenarios. Boom, you’ve got the next 50 Shades of Grey. “Snowpeen’s Licewagon,” you could call yourself.