In other countries, heads of state have mistresses and do weird sex stuff and it isn’t a scandal, because people understand that politics naturally attracts emotionally needy love-me-daddy sociopaths. Here in the US, it’s better to allege cybercrime than admit you follow a porn star on twitter. (*gasp*)
Make us clutch those pearls, NY Post:
Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone [claimed his Twitter account had been hacked] when The Post discovered he was following Duke porn star Belle Knox.
County Executive Steve Bellone said that is how the 19-year-old Duke University student and porn actress ended up as one of the 267 people on his “following” list.
Bellone, a married father of three who is up for re-election next year, insisted he has no idea how his account came to be linked to Knox.
“County Executive Bellone’s Twitter account, which is operated by his staff, has been hacked and an obscene Twitter account was subsequently followed,” said his spokeswoman, Vanessa Baird-Streeter.
“A formal complaint has been filed with Twitter and to the third-party software used to assist in managing the account. His staff has instituted stricter security protocols to ensure an incident like this does not happen in the future.”
“law-enforcement authorities have been notified and the Suffolk County Police Department is currently investigating.” [NYPost]
Boy, I hope they have a team of cybercrime counter-terrorism experts working round the clock to crack The Case Of The Grown Man Who Might Be Intrigued By Porn. Who do you think might’ve done it? Nigerian hackers? The North Koreans? Chechen white slave traffickers? Everyone knows the Kim Jong-un regime has had it in for Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone for years. He was next on the list behind President Obama and the cast of The Interview! I mean, that’s certainly more plausible than the idea that this orange-skinned used car salesman might enjoy naked women. He’s married for God’s sake.
Have you ever noticed that hackers only seem to hack politicians in order to post sex stuff? It’s never to promote their work from home business or to post BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY HOWARD STERN’S PENIS, it’s always to take a casual interest in porn or send naughty pictures to women. What a mystery. We’ll get to the bottom of this eventually.