Senior Editor
10.06.09 20 Comments

(“Film of the century!” declared Retard Pig)

The Oscar vote is a little more complicated this year now with 10 choices for Best Picture instead of five, so I can understand how an academy member might be overwhelmed.  But that’s no excuse for doing what one did, which was apparently to ask Pete effing Hammond for advice.  Hammond writes:

The other day I got a call from an academy member who had just received a list of October entries in the official academy member weekend screening series. She asked if I thought particular titles she had never even heard of were worth checking out. Those included “We Live in Public,” a documentary about the Internet; “Disgrace,” a barely released post-apartheid drama; “Good Hair,” a Chris Rock riff on African American hairstyles; “Bronson,” a violent prison drama about a guy whose altar-ego is the actor Charles Bronson; “Gentlemen Broncos,” a teen comedy; “Astro Boy,” an animated film based on an old TV cartoon series; the multi-segmented “New York I Love You” and a horror film, “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant.”  None of these movies are likely to be found on any pundits list of potential Oscar contenders. [LaTimes via MovieLine]

No arguments there, at least if he’s only talking about Best Picture.  But keep in mind, Pete Hammond is eFilmcritic’s 2008 Whore of the Year, one of those sham critics whose quotes you see in horrible movie trailers and think, “Who the hell would’ve had the balls to admit liking that out loud, let alone in print?”  Pete Hammond is that guy.

Just yesterday I was watching TV and an ad for The Proposal DVD came on with a huge quote that said “The year’s best comedy!” with the critic in tiny print.  I had to rewind to see who it was — Pete Hammond, of course.  Here are some of his other gems dingleberries:

The Answer Man – A sparkling, wickedly funny comedy.
My One and Only – An exceptionally good comedy.
Confessions of a Shopaholic – Hilarious! Confessions is a nonstop laughing spree.
Monsters vs. Aliens – The year’s funniest comedy.
Up – The funniest movie of the summer.
The Proposal – Riotously funny! The Proposal is without question the year’s best comedy.

There you have it.  Up is the funniest movie of the summer, but not of the year, because that was Monsters vs. Aliens, which although funnier, is still not the best comedy.  Because any idiot knows that was The Proposal.  Jesus, what does a guy have to do to lose credibility these days?

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