Arnold Schwarzenegger in Rio: Possibly the best video of all time

Senior Editor
03.22.11 18 Comments

FilmDrunkard Osky sent me this old video of Arnold Schwarzenegger checking out Carnival in Rio, and mother of God, I’m not sure a video could get much better than this.  That’s him in the banner picture, by the way, using his imaginary hand binoculars to get a better look at a girl’s butt. If you’ve ever seen his “in the gym I am cumming, backstage before a show I am cumming, everywhere I am cumming” speech from Pumping Iron, you know the man can be candid. But in this video, he delivers — while playing himself, mind you — what might be the most incredible line of dialog of his entire career:

“You know something, after watching the mulattoes shake it, I can absolutely understand why Brazil is totally devoted to my favorite body part: the ass.”

That, man… was my governor. (*plays “God Bless America” on Piccolo, streaming patriotic tears*).  I’m glad the submitter told me that the best part comes at the 4:30 – 4:50 mark, because after Arnold proclaimed his love for mulatto ass, made hand binoculars, roughly groped a girl in a thong, and motorboated another girl’s boobs inside the first three minutes, I would’ve assumed it couldn’t get any better. OH, BUT IT DOES. OH MY GOD DOES IT.

[NSFW disclaimer: there’s no full-on nudity, but it comes about as close as you can get]

Can you say “FORCED CARROT STICK FELLATIO?”  You can now.  Let this be a lesson to you, guys: sometimes a girl will pretend she doesn’t like it at first, but if you just keep sliding it in and out slowly while talking to her in a smooth voice, eventually she’ll come around.  …Actually, forget I said that.  But there is a fine line between “forced” and “coerced.” A fine, sexy line.

Can someone bring me a bucket?  It seems my face has melted off.

[via FoundFootageFest, who always find the best sh*t.]

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