These Beautifully Stupid Computer-Generated Fake Headlines Are As Believable As Real Ones

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As the Captain of the Morning Links, I read a lot of headlines. Upworthy headlines, snarky headlines, poorly written headlines—they all blend together. The internet is a Headline Farm, and clicks are saltwater. Headline Smasher generates fake headlines from real ones, and the results are absurd, gibberish, sometimes hilarious, and surprisingly poetic. It’s easier to recognize the stupid tropes in online media when you see them amped up to 11 at Headline Smasher. “Everything You Need to Be Stopped” sounds totally plausible when the real world is spewing out garbage like 29 Life-Changing Quesadillas You Need to Know About (for real). Who clicks on that?? And how close are they to clicking on some of these gems:

How I Learned to Stop Her Crying
Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart
The Most Powerful Gay Man in Silicon Valley Can’t Stop #Skywriting
Goodbye, GameCube Controller. It’s been Raining Rocks in Sicily
Um. How Close Are We to Being Photoshopped Into Cover Models
WATCH: How to Eat in Real Life
What’s the Weirdest Places You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks

If you could get paid to make these up I would finally have career goals. Your move, Ranker.

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