Ben Affleck Should Be Hanged For War Crimes, Says Iranian News Agency

You have no idea how happy I am to break Film’s Drunk “war crimes tag” cherry. As Vince previously mentioned, Iran is none too pleased with Ben Affleck’s Best Picture-winning Argo (big Les Misérables fans, those guys), which “makes the people of Iran look like they have no self-determination, and indisputably support violence.” I actually thought they came across quite well, especially in the scene where that Dire Straits song plays…oh, wait, no, that was the white people. Iranians = monsters, so says Argo, but Iran’s planning their revenge, by framing Ben Affleck as a perpetrator of war crimes for the U.S. whose Argo is nothing more than a covert operation disguised as a movie. Hm, sounds familiar.

According to Dr. Kevin Barrett for PressTV, Iran’s 24-hour news network:

Well-known French lawyer Isabelle Coutant-Peyre has met with Iranian officials planning a lawsuit against the makers and distributors of the controversial film.

Mohammad Lesani, General Secretary of Monday’s Hoax of Hollywood conference in Tehran, announced, “Argo is made by three film-producing companies in Hollywood…the Islamic Republic of Iran is going to sue all those who have been active in the anti-Iran domain, including directors and producers.”

“…and Jews,” probably. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But then you get to:

In a radio interview Tuesday on the Kevin Barrett Show, [former political analyst for Ronald Reagan, Barbara] Honegger stated that filmmaker Ben Affleck might one day be hanged for war crimes and treason – not only for Argo, which she said is designed to pave the road to war on Iran, but also for his role in the 2001 film Pearl Harbor, an earlier intelligence operation designed to pave the road to the 9/11 “New Pearl Harbor.” According to Honegger, Affleck – like his character in Argo – appears to be a covert operator posing as a filmmaker.

An idea: let’s save Josh Hartnett from whatever bum fight he’s currently in, paint a beard on his face, drug him, and Fed Ex him to Iran in a box labeled, “This Is Ben Affleck Right Here, Feel Free to Kill.” Problem solved: Ben Affleck lives another day to make Gritty Boston Movie #3 and Iran is so pleased with our offer, they decide to stop feudin’ and fussin’ with us and we bond over our shared affections for Charlize Theron’s boobs in Reindeer Games. FINE, North Korea can hang out with us, too. And thus, world peace was achieved, all because Josh Hartnett was murdered. Thanks, Pearl Harbor!