Box Office: Kick-Ass 2 opens almost as badly as R.I.P.D.

Lee Daniels’ The Butler (we can thank Warner Bros’ litigiousness for that mouthful of a title) opened at number one this week, with an estimated $25 million in domestic box office. Going into the weekend, the big story was Kick-Ass 2 and The Butler battling it out for the top spot. Unfortunately for Kick-Ass 2 (our review), it wasn’t much of a fight, with The Butler basically asking “why you hitting yourself” as Kick-Ass debuted all the way in fourth, with $13.57 million, behind We’re the Millers and Elysium. Its opening was barely higher than super bomb R.I.P.D. (though it should be said, RIPD cost $130 million to make, whereas Kick-Ass 2 only cost $28m).

But even THAT wasn’t sucky enough to out-suck this weekend’s suck-off superstars. Jobs (our review), opened at number seven with $6.7 million, which is pretty good for a movie that should’ve gone straight to TBS. Jobs‘ opening was still almost twice as good as suck-off champion Paranoia, which managed to not even crack the top 10, landing in 13th with $3.5 million. The Harrison Ford/Liam Hemsworth “thriller” edged out Tyler Perry Presents’ Peeples for the worst opening of the summer. It also crowd-pleased its way to a C+ Cinemascore and four percent recommended on RottenTomatoes. The best you could ever say about Paranoia was that it was definitely a movie, and good luck trying to get anyone to believe that three months from now.

1. Lee Daniels The Butler (The Weinstein Company) – $25 million

2. We’re the Millers (Warner Bros.) – $17.7 million ($69.5 million)

3. Elysium (Sony/TriStar) – $13.6 million ($55.9 million)

4. Kick-Ass 2 (Lionsgate) – $13.5 million

5. Planes (Buena Vista) – $13.1 million ($45 million)

6. Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (Fox) – $8.3 million ($38.9 million)

7. Jobs (Open Road) – $6.7 million

8. 2 Guns (Universal) – $5.5 million ($59.2 million)

9. The Smurfs 2 (Sony) – $4.6 million ($56.9 million)

10. The Wolverine (Fox) – $4.4 million ($120.4 million) [ThePlaylist]

The first Kick-Ass only made $19 million, but I guess its cultish popularity was enough to convince Lionsgate that a sequel was a good idea. It looked pretty good for only costing $28 million, but basically realized everyone’s worst fears about it being a pointless money grab. The money-grab part isn’t working out so hot, obviously.

Here’s one last look at Paranoia before it ends up in the bargain bin at Walgreens. Can you believe someone had the balls to put “from the director of 21” in there? That’s like the movie equivalent of “From the chef who didn’t wash his hands!”

Fantasy Summer Box Office Standings

Laremy (First overall pick)

1. Iron Man 3 – $175.3

2. Man of Steel $117 million / $225 million budget = 52%, 100 minus 52 = 48.

3. Epic: 33.5

4. Lone Ranger: 29.4

Total: 286.2

Vince (2nd pick):

1. 6 Fast 6 Furious: 97.4

2. Pacific Rim: 38.3

3. The Wolverine: 55

4. We are the Millers: 26m on a 37m budget = 70%, 100 – 70 = 30.

Total: 220.7

Bret (3rd pick)

1. Star Trek 2: 71

2. Despicable Me 2: 82.5

3. Lone Ranger (Bomb): 29m on a 250m budget = 12%, 100 – 12 = 88.

4. After Earth: 27

Total: 268.5

Brendan (4th pick)

1. Man of Steel: 116.6

2. Hangover 3: 41.7

3. The Internship: 18.1

4. The Great Gatsby (Bomb): $51 million on a $105 million budget, which equals 49 percent of budget, subtracted from 100 is 51.

Total: 227.4

Ben (5th):

1. Monsters University: 82

2. Planes: 22

3. World War Z: 66

4. World War Z (Bomb): $66 million on a $190 million budget, equals 34.7 percent of budget, 100 minus 35 equals 65.

Total: 235

Boy, did I get crushed this year. Thanks for nothing, Pacific Rim. And in my defense, We’re the Millers hadn’t released a trailer or budget numbers when we chose, so I picked it solely on the basis of it being a Jennifer Aniston comedy, which have a pretty terrible track record.