Yesterday saw the release of two new international trailers for Adam Sandler’s Jack & Jill, and not too long before that brought the trailer for Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star. I think we’re already all too aware of what Jack & Jill looks like, and expected as much from a movie about Sandler playing his own obnoxious twin sister (RATED ARG FOR PIRATES F*CK YOU!). But having been a long-time Nick Swardson fan, I’d held out hope that Bucky Larson would finally be the film where he got to do more than be the least-terrible part of a Happy Madison film. Sadly, it looks… well, like every other Happy Madison movie (with Sandler listed as co-writer). I hate to judge a book by its cover, but there’s no way in 2011 a movie can be good when the lead character is in Mexican sitcom make-up (he looks like the Mexican television scenes in Arrested Development — all he’s missing is the freckles and lollipop). The only question now is: which of these looks more terrible? Let’s compare!
Bucky Larson
No Name Director: Tom Brady
Previously of… The Comebacks, The Hot Chick
Supporting cast: that creepy old chick, Stephen Dorff, Christina Ricci
Allen Covert‘s Kooky Supporting Role: Porn Store Clerk with Giant Perm
Celebrity Cameo: Don Johnson as Miles Deep, Jimmy Fallon as himself
Crappy Sight Gag: Nick Swardson takes a bug to the teeth
Overused Trailer Song: “Nothing But Mammals”, Bloodhound Gang
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Jack And Jill
No Name Director: Dennis Dugan
Previously of… Just Go With It, Grown Ups, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
Supporting Cast: Katie Holmes, Tim Meadows, Nick Swardson
Celebrity Cameo: Al Pacino as himself, Shaq
Allen Covert’s Kooky Supporting Role: Homeless Guy at Dinner
Crappy Sight Gag: Adam Sandler in drag is too fat for a pony
Overused Trailer Song: “You Bring Me Down”, ELO
How say you? Which of this will sh*t in your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth, and which just your eyes and mouth? Too early to tell? Place your bets now!