Move Over Baby Goose, Channing Tatum Fed Soup to a Puppy

First, the huge news – Channing Tatum is a proud father. Over the weekend, Tatum and his wife and Step Up co-star, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, announced the birth of their first child, Everly Tatum. As for the unique name, I’m not sure how they selected it, but with my unique knowledge of C-Tates, I believe that it’s because, “Yo fairy tales n sh*t, son. like happy everly after, right?”

With White House Down set to become one of the summer’s biggest blockbusters on June 28, it’s only fitting that Tatum, at the pinnacle of his adult life, would snag the cover of this month’s Vanity Fair to talk about, what else? Being a mac-daddy, a daddy-mac and just a daddy in general.

Last year’s $100 million man opened up about the hardships that his own father, a roofer until he broke his back, faced in raising the eventual hardest twerkin’ playboy in show bizna$$$ty. Tatum discussed how his own learning disability affected him and how that will factor into the way he raises his own daughter.

“I read so slow,” he tells Cohen. “If I have a script I’m going to read it five times slower than any other actor, but I’ll be able to tell you everything in it. It kills me that there are standardized tests geared towards just one kind of child.”

“I truly believe some people need medication,” he says. “I did not. I did better at school when I was on it, but it made me a zombie. You become obsessive. Dexedrine, Adderall. It’s like any other drug. It’s like coke, or crystal meth. The more you do, the less it works. For a time, it would work well. Then it worked less and my pain was more. I would go through wild bouts of depression, horrible comedowns. I understand why kids kill themselves. I absolutely do. You feel terrible. You feel soul-less. I’d never do it to my child.”

And to put the cherry on top, Vanity Fair also enlisted Bruce Weber – the fashion photographer and not the Kansas State men’s basketball coach – to make a little video of Tatum’s cover shoot, and it’s about the most adorable thing that you’ll see this week, from his “I <3 You” sweat pants…

… to the puppy above and this fat piggy…

… and even when Taylor Lautner randomly showed up…

Haha, you’re the best, C-Tates!