Check Out This Classic Video Of Jason Statham Diving At The 1990 Commonwealth Games

I’d known that Jason Statham had been a diver in a previous life, before he became even more famous for droivin flash sazz wagons an’ knobbin fit birds from da ukraine, but until last week, I’d never seen video. Now we have a great clip, featuring Statham competing at the 1990 Commonwealth Games. For those of us Americans who may not be as familiar with the Commonwealth Games, they’re sort of a version of the Olympics, but rigged for the British, by only allowing Commonwealth nations to compete. Which Australia spoils anyway by always beating them. Also, it includes made up sports like “Netball” and “Bowls.”

It’s funny watching the announcers tear him to shreds, with the context of our naturally being impressed with how good he is at diving.

“Jason Statham, who’s not having a good time. He’s moved from 8th, slipped down to 11th.”

“…and he’s short again.”

“He’s really gone to pieces in this final.”

“Well a good final dive for Statham, he’s had two or three very poor ones…”

“Again a bit short.”

“Well. That his worst dive. The Englishman lucky to get away without injury there.”

If only they’d known he was an actor before he competed, that would add three degrees of difficulty to every dive, at least. Being an actor makes people at least twice as impressed every time you prove that you can do something normal people do. There should be a Commonwealth-type game for actors, where they win medals for being able to change a tire, or throw a baseball. “Oh my, did you see that gas pump from Diaz? Magnificent. And all by herself. …Oops, she has driven off without removing the nozzle. Oh no, that’s going to cost her some points, Tom.”