Gary Oldman, Christian Slater, and Dane Cook are set to topline “a stylized crime thriller” from writer-director Michael Winnick that was apparently cast by the Family Guy manatees. Hey, say what you will about Dane Cook’s comedy, the guy sure is a f*cking douche.
“Guns, Girls & Gambling,” throws Elvis impersonators, Indians, modern cowboys, a 6-foot-tall blond assassin, a frat boy, a corrupt sheriff and a prostitute into a chase for a priceless American Indian artifact stolen during a poker game at an Indian casino.
Slater plays a normal guy who in a drunken stupor joins an Elvis impersonation contest. Oldman is the contest’s mega-contender, and Cook will play the sheriff. [HeatVision]
A six-foot tall blond guy, you say? Why, that’s almost TOO wacky! Hey, how about this, maybe in addition to being six feet tall and blond, he’s always wearin’ t-shirts. Anyway, sounds like Go meets The Hangover meets a forehead the size of Mount Rushmore (Christian Slater’s). I also like how they didn’t even bother giving it a title, they just named it after the pitch. “Pulp Fiction? Nah, I prefer ‘Hitmen, Drugs & Boxing.’ And no, I’m not punctuating it correctly, because f*ck that.”
You’re going to have to try harder than that if you want me to hate you, Gary Oldman.
But seriously, stop trying.
“a forehead the size of Mount Rushmore (Christian Slater’s)”
I submit it is not his forehead that is too big, but that his face is too small
S’okay Donk, it’s just a phase. Steve Buschemi tried to do the same thing when he did that movie with Brendan Frasier.
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma?
Christian Slater would be more believable as an amateur Jack Nicholson impersonator.
Technically, not using an Oxford comma is still correct punctuation, its just less correct than using it.
I bet Oxford gives a fuck.
My life was saved thanks to the transplant of an Oxford colon.
“…and Cook will play the sheriff.”
Wyatt Derp
who gives a fuck about hipster bands? oh, obviously someone named ezra
A bit of industry insight that may help explain the seemingly random casting: Christian Slater and Dane Cook share the same agent at CAA, whom Slater is also dating. It’s an incestuous web of money, salesmanship, and C-list celebrity stank.