‘Chuck Norris Kicks Everything’ (Undeservedly) Honors The Man’s 75th Birthday

Senior Editor
03.10.15 22 Comments

I didn’t plan any features to honor Chuck Norris on his 75th birthday, because frankly, as much fun as we have with the fictional Chuck Norris, the real Chuck Norris is a human dog turd wearing a silly wig. Luckily, HuffPo’s Ben Craw edited this supercut using only the fictional Chuck Norris, dispensing justice in the form of jumping side kicks, leg sweeps, and even the occasional front kick, presumably licensed from its inventor, Steven Seagal. I especially enjoyed the fight that somehow ended up on a diving board. Boys, boys – a diving board is no place for grievances!

I always doubted that such a move would work in real life, until I saw this video of a mentally ill man who stabbed two security guards to death at Guizhou Normal University before a good samaritan Liu Kang’d his ass to the pavement with a righteous flying side kick.

Lesson: if you have a choice between flying side kick and chair, go with side kick.

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