A lot of people comment on FilmDrunk. But it takes a special sort not to say something lame, and an even specialer sort to actually be funny. Each week, I honor those special Drunkards.
It was tough to pick a winner this week, because the competition was fierce. But I have to go with Pauly Dangerously, who was all over the list. In last week’s Weekend Preview, he drops this delicious non-sequitir: "I think Napoleon’s last words were, ‘Make me… into… an ice cream.’"
The rest, in no particular order:
From Ellen Page off Sam Raimi Movie, Burnsy says, I heard Tyler Perry wants to do a remake of Army of Darkness. It’ll be called Madea Goes Medieval. Boy, imagine the trouble she gets into back then!
From ‘Meet Bill’ Trailer, Pauly Dangerously says, Why would you want to get back with your cheating, slut, whore of a wife? Had that been me I would have said "Oh don’t worry, Honey. I’ll be okay, just give me a hug" then when she close enough, BAM! Knee to the pussy.
From New ‘Doomsday’ Clip Looks… Uh…, The Mighty Fek’lhr [Editor’s Note: Breaking a long drought] says "Doomsday", anagram for: "Sodomy Ad" The Mighty Fek’lhr rests His case!
From Semi Pro: Cream of the Crap, Hugh G. Rection says [In response to me mentioning that nothing rhymes with "orange"] Whorange rhymes with orange by the way. It’s Lohan’s skin color.
From Simon Cowell is a Slow Learner, Rotwangchung says, I would prefer Baz Luhrmann to direct a psychedelic musical about Pol Pot titled "Moulin Khmer Rouge."
From Mad Max’s Retarded Brother, Donkey Hodey says, I like how whatever the sickness that strikes that city is it makes people get stupid face tattoos. I hope the opening scene involves a full moon and Mike Tyson biting people to explain all of that.
From Robert Downey Jr. In Blackface, Pauly Dangerously says [In reference to the constant flow of spam comments for strange dating sites we get here at FilmDrunk] RDJ wear blackface to look at profiles on interracial dating sites.
From Die Yuppie Scum, Stone Soup says, $3k at Bed Bath and Beyond will cover 1/3 the cost of a set of Calphalon cookware. I don’t even know where Calphalonia is, but those fuckers sure can make a pan.
From F You Cancer, This One’s For Dalton, Burnsy says, Too Soon Foo, Thanks For Nothing Pancreatic Cancer
From the same post, Pauly Dangerously says [Quoting me] "You’re all going to hell." Either that or there’s always barber college. [Ed. Note – references to barber college never get old]
From 4 Fast 4 Furious Regains Hardcore Latina, Jacktion!, FilmDrunk’s undisputed king of puns, says, I preferred the historical racing drama set in World War II Germany: "The Fast and the Fuhrer: The Master Race"
From ‘I Am Legend’ Alternative Ending, Pootie Tang says, [When Will Smith drove off into the sunset] Did the license plate say "Fresh" and have dice in the mirror?
Congratulations to the winners, and special thanks to those whose comments were too racist or too much a reference to my thumb to be used in CotW. To everyone else, Happy Goat still loves you.