Comments of the Week

Senior Editor
01.30.12 61 Comments

It’s week three of me allowing you to choose your own Comments of the Week winners (just copy and paste your favorite comments throughout the week into the comments section below, and use the reply function to vote for your favorites). And here’s what you chose.

From Dane Cook offers to treat TJ Miller and the AV Club to expectant mother’s massage:

Moose: Expectant Mother’s Massage is code for hitting every stair on the way down.

So yeah, that’s what you guys chose. A comment about throwing pregnant women down stairs. The sad thing? It probably would’ve been my choice too. So Moose, send me your address and shirt size. For the rest of you, you can still buy FilmDrunk shirts here. Got the new design in green and red, almost every size still available.

And here are your honorable mentions.

Speaking of Dane Cook and “chainsaw f*cking a disgusting whore’s c*nt.

Stinky Pete: “Whimsical minutia” is what disgusting whores call the thing Dane Cook uses to chainsaw-f*ck their c*nts.

From F*ckable iPad brings humanity one step closer to extinction:

Stallonewolf: Will Apple continue to exploit Chinese labia??

Chareth Cutestory: I actually tried this, but my thumb slipped and accidentally activated FaceTime, and it was like f*cking myself. Sure, I came almost instantly, BUT AT WHAT COST?

StrangerInTheAlps: Finally! I’ll give those goddamn birds something to be angry about!

From Patton Oswalt live tweets his Oscar-snub party:

Patty Boots: Baby Goose doing keg stands? Shenanigans. You know he’s the designated driver, girl.

Mick: Baby Goose does kegel stands because he’s man enough to connect with his feminine side, girl.

From Galifianakis, Helms, and Cooper getting $15 mil for Hangover 3:

The Evil Twin
Poor Justin Bartha, not only has he got shafted once again, but he also has to deal with this scenario on a regular basis:
*ring, ring*
Justin: sleepily answers Uhhh, hello?
???: Justin! Hurry and pack a bag! I’ll be over at your place in 15.
Justin: Wait, what? What time is it?
???: No time to explain! Just make sure to pack a flashlight and shovel, I’ll layout the plan on the drive to Kentucky.
Justin: Kentucky?! Why the hell are we going to Kentucky?! *looks at clock* Jesus it’s 3:30 in the morning!
???: Justin…we’re going to break into Fort Knox.
Justin: For the love of God Nic, it was only a movie!

And finally, from The Amazing Spider-Man promises the story is completely different this time:

Crapbasket: Same ad agency as Hangover 3 then? “No, srsly! Totes diff film, ya! Same peeps, same scrip, same plot points, but this time the monkey is a marmoset that jacks off all over the place! Tight, YO!”

I’ve tried to make that movie, the hard part is casting the marmoset. Anyway, thanks everyone, happy commenting, and remember to FilmDrink responsibly.

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