It’s been two weeks since our last comments of the week, and to make up for it, I’ve got two prizes to give away. One is a FilmDrunk shirt, this year’s must have accessory at any swap meet and/or comic book convention. The other is a copy of Getting It Done: The Ultimate Production Assistant Guide, provided to us by author Josh Friedman.
Only a fool would enter a film set without having first read this production manual. There is no faster way up the ladder than being prepared and no faster way out the door than by screwing up. This manual was created by a working PA as a tutorial for those starting out, or a reference guide for seasoned filmmakers. Getting It Done offers information on the many departments involved in a film production, the day-to-day operations of the set, the paperwork involved, and much more.
Right, so let’s get to it. The winners:
[From Kevin Smith on working with Bruce Willis: “I had no help from this dude whatsoever.”] Chareth Cutestory says: “I really should listen to this jorts-ensconced taint enthusiast.” – No one, ever
[From Armond White cares not for bourgeois oppression] Stinky Peet says: Armond White uses Vistaprint™ for bulk discounts on his race cards.
Well done, now send me your addresses and/or shirt size. And now for everyone’s favorite part, the few, the proud, the honorable mentions.
[From the Zooey Deschaneliest picture of all time] Moose says: Zooey keeps several ukulele’s of varying lengths hidden under her coat à la Machete in case of a hipster emergency.
[From Hobo with a Shotgun poster has everything] Ragnarok says: Rip Torn was just seen throwing a rat pickeled in a jar of urine against a wall while yelling, “You call yourself an agent!!??
[From Rubber, the head-exploding tire movie has a trailer, looks incredible] Michelle07 says: You’d be mad too if they hung a bunch of your brothers from trees.
[From Kevin Smith hates Bruce Willis] ChaseMit says: Kevin, you can’t expect an actor to suddenly change the way they are after one conversation. They’re not lesbians.
ZING! Get it? That was a Chasing Amy reference.
[From Academy releases Oscar nominations] stakfry526 says:
Inception has to win for Best Pic-
“BRAAHHHHHHHHHM”
-ture. It had the best combination of stunning visuals an-
“BRAHHHHHHHHHHM”
-d competent acting performances. Ok we get it cut-
“BRAHHHHHHHHHHM”
Are you ser-
“BRAHHHHHHHHHHM”
F*ck it I change my vote to True-
“BRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHM”[From Ashton Kutcher sings a song with his girlfriend sister stepdaughter] ChinoMoreno says: “This would have been better if his guitar had no strings attached.”
Donkey Hodey says: ‘No Strings Attached’ made me think of a new word combination. It’s a mixture of Natalie Portman and Cameltoe.
I call it a Portmantoe.
[From Bill Murray pushes a Packers fan, says Ray Nitschke is a pussy] Donkey Hodey says: This is just like the time my history professor shoved a nihilist and told him Nietzsche was a pussy.
Donkey Hodey says: Naturally, there was no response…
And finally, yet another gem from Donkey Hodey.
[From Man on Wire director on Kevin Smith: “What’s his f*cking problem?”] Donkey Hodey says: Good thing Egypt just made all that extra space on Twitter, because Smith’s going to need it when he hears about this.
Thanks, guys. You inspire me. You make me want to be a better d*ck-joke maker.