01.12.09 9 years ago 89 Comments

Morning, FilmDrunkards.  Today must be your lucky day, because I’ve got a Flight of the Conchords prize pack to give away (unless you also just found out you have cancer, in which case the luck thing probably evens out).  The prize pack includes season 1 of FOTC on DVD, an FOTC Notebook, FOTC guitar picks, FOTC posters and FOTC postcards.  Season 2 premieres next Sunday at 10 ET (though you can also watch it for free online here), and the FOTC lipdub contest is still accepting entries here.

As always, the way this works is, when a commenter makes a comment worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post.  I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees next Sunday/Monday. The winner gets a sweet prize.  (FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

And on to the runners up…

Last week was one of those weeks where you funny sumbitches entertained me so much that it almost makes writing this pain in the ass of a post worthwhile.  Nearly all the funny came from three posts: Japanese Watchmen trailer (aka, more Gerald Posner facts), the Bruno movie features black Jesus (aka, What Would Black Jesus Do), and The Dude Who Swallowed His Own Eyeballs.  First up, Posner facts.  For the uninitiated, Gerald Posner is a semi-obscure writer whom FilmDrunkards have taken to trashing because… uh, because he’s funny looking, of course.

Jacktion! says, “Gerald Posner lives on top of a totem pole.”

Pauly Dangerously says, “Gerald Posner took ‘roids for his face. Asteroids.”

Jacktion! says, “Gerald Posner’s shirt should say Disfigu(Red).”

Mark It Zero says, “Gerald Posner once had to battle 7 security guards and a frightened tour guide to leave Madame Tussauds.”

Jacktion! says, “Gerald Posner went on eHarmony and was matched up with a coral reef.”  [this is one of those comments that made me laugh and then a second later go, ‘Wait, I don’t know what that means.’]

Pauly Dangerously says, “Gerald Posner uses a stucco foundation to reduce glare when he’s on camera.”

Dr. Steve Brule says, “Not even carbon would date Gerald Posner’s face.” [*slow clap*]

Diremutt says, “Gerald Posner has a prolapsed uvula.”

Chodin says, “If you say “Gerald Posner” three times in a row, your firstborn comes out with f-cking hooves.” [You should see my f-ck hoof – it’s triple cloven]

Stinky Peet says, “Gerald Posner always walks in for free at Mummenschanz shows.” [+.5 for humor, +10,000 for obscurity]


From Lesbian MMA Porn, madman says, “A lesbian that’s into MMA? I’d like to see her box.”

From GRR, UNDERGROUND FIGHT CLUBS!, Chodin says, “I heard that the only way to defeat Tanning Chatum is with a kiss of true love.”

I don’t even know what post this came from: Michelle07 says, “I heard Michael Bay having sex once. He just kept yelling “BOOM””

From the Guy Eats His Own Eyeballs thread:

RoboPanda says, “I wonder how much he was getting raped in prison walking around winking at everybody like that.”

Chodin says, “This guy now has no choice but to watch ‘My Bloody Valentine’ in NO-D.”

Donkey Hodey says: “Too bad he killed his kids…

I have my father’s eyes

*Holds up bag of shit*”

And finally, from the Black Jesus thread:

Pauly Dangerously says, “Black Jesus turns water into Mad Dog 20/20.”

Donkey Hodey says, “Coming soon: Diary of A Mad Black Jesus starring black Jesus as an older woman named Judea.”


Michelle07 says, “Black Mary rode a badonkadonkey.”

That makes two weeks in a row for the FilmDrunkettes.

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