I give New Zealand a lot of grief for being the world’s most far-flung Lord of the Rings gift shop, and for choosing their prime minister via sack race, but one thing New Zealand does do right is to ban parents from giving their kids stupid names. Just think how many future wedgies could be prevented if we kept our kids from being named Pilot, or Jackson with a Y. In New Zealand, Kiwis have to run their names by the government first (which, to be fair, consists of Minister Johno Reed drinking a pint outside the midwifery shed), and sometimes the government says “sorry, try again.” CNN (via CinemaBlend) recently released a list of the names the government wouldn’t allow, compiled below for your viewing pleasure.
(The numbers next to the names refer to how many times the name came up):
Justice:62
King:31
Princess:28
Prince:27
Royal:25
Duke:10
Major:9
Bishop:9
Majesty:7
J:6
Lucifer:6
using brackets around middle names:4
Knight:4
Lady:3
using back slash between names:8
Judge:3
Royale:2
Messiah:2
T:2
I:2
Queen:2
II:2
Sir:2
III:2
Jr:2
E:2
V:2
Justus:2
Master:2
Constable:1
Queen Victoria:1
Regal:1
Emperor:1
Christ:1
Juztice:1
3rd:1
C J :1
G:1
Roman numerals III:1
General:1
Saint:1
Lord:1
. (full stop):1
89:1
Eminence:1
M:1
VI:1
Mafia No Fear:1
2nd:1
Majesti:1
Rogue:1
4real:1
* (star symbol):1
5th:1
S P:1
C:1
Sargent:1
Honour:1
D:1
Minister:1
MJ:1
Chief:1
Mr:1
V8:1
President:1
MC:1
Anal:1
A.J:1
Baron:1
L B:1
H-Q:1
Queen V:1
I admit, I kind of like “President.” Prez for short. I can see it. I’m torn between that and “V8 Anal Mancini” for my firstborn.
For comparison, I’m also including a list of names a mommy blogger in Utah named McKinli Hatch considered for her daughter before eventually settling on “Lakynn.”
Taylee
McKarty
Nayvie
Maylee
Kamree
Nykee
Taislee
Taigley
Tenley
McKamey
McKartnee
Tayvie
[source – please don’t leave mean comments on her page, you jerks]
I’m not sure whether “Nykee” is meant to be pronounced like Nicky or Nike. Also, if you name your child McKartnee, you might as well name her siblings Jagger, Elvis, Prince, Jimi, Zeppelin, and Freddi Mercuri. That would be kind of awesome, now that I think about it. This just in: the government of New Zealand has banned me from having kids. Of course, their jurisdiction only extends about 30 meters past Rodge MacKenzie’s sheep fence, so do with that what you will.
[hat tip to Eric Snider for introducing me to the mommy blogosphere]